The h2g2 Poem
Created | Updated Aug 26, 2004
Kolin
She's short and she's orange and doesn't smell good
Poor Kolin is not keeping as clean as she should
She does hate to wash, and brushing her teeth is a big no
About her personal hygiene she has nothing to crow
Her fur is all tatty, she's looking a mess
A jolly good bath would sort out the nest
But will she submit and let it be done
Not Kolin she's off, out of the room does she run
She hides under the table or under the bed
Anywhere really it has to be said
No matter how loudly I call she doesn't appear
Poor Kolin just continues hiding in fear
So under the table or bed I do crawl
And drag out poor Kolin limbs all a sprawl
To the bathroom she goes wriggling with dread
Scared beyond measure at what lies ahead
The bathtub is filled, scented bubbles as well
It's poor Kolin's idea of what it must be like in hell
Over the perfumed water poor Kolin is held
After this it'll be the sweetest she has ever smelled
Half an hour later Kolin is looking her best
Bathed, dried and brushed I stick out my chest
My pride knows no bounds but Kolin gives me a glare
It seems she's not happy and her growl makes me aware
She chases me around the kitchen then runs out of the door
Into the garden she flies as never before
Straight to a large muddy puddle she goes
And jumps head first in, dirty even down to her toes
She's short and she's orange and she doesn't smell good
But Kolin is happy as a pig rolled in mud
I shake my head as I stare at her in dismay
I guess they'll be no dog show for Kolin today
