h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If there was a fistfight between Elvis and Lennon, who'd win? My money's on Elvis - but what if Lennon has a broken bottle..?

what? Lennon was from Liverpool, of course he'd win. He'd of headbutted Elvis and have him on the floor before he knew it.
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Jaz

"a liverpool kiss"

So let's see - Elvis, a big, fat bloke who spent all day eating Hamburgers, or John Lennon, who spent all his early life in Leathers, around some of the toughest clubs in both Liverpool and Hamburg, where fights regularly took place every night, and yet he survived.

I'd say John Lennon would win 1,000,000,000,000 times out 10.

Nah, but Elvis in his younger years was way more fit than weedy (which is fine, I'm weedy myself - but then I don't fistfight) lil' Lennon. Plus he's a speccy.

Anyway, what if ... Lennon had parted Elvis's hair with a brick ... and Elvis fell on him?

Would we have been deprived of the best Working Class Hero ever?

And what if Elvis cut Lennon's hair off with the bottle, or smashed his glasses? And what if Lennon set fire to Elvis' greasy quiff?

Ooh, the possibilities!

Wait a minute, now... if Lennon has a broken bottle, it isn't a *fist*fight, is it?

And what if ... Priscilla and Cynthia decided to throw a few punches in defence of their men ... Whoaaar!

John Lennon was short-sighted, so he'd be able to see Elvis perfectly up close, and would only have trouble seeing him when Elvis decides to chicken out and run away.

Priscilla... I don't know about Cynthia, but she'd kick Yoko's arse any day.
And I'd be there to cheer her on.

Thanks for bringing Yoko into this – if anyone deserves a virtual punch, it's her.

And, for my money, the best person to deliver that punch is Liverpool lass Cynthia Lennon.

How can there even be an argument? Lennon was from Liverpool .'. it is so obvious he would HAVE to win.
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jaz

Yes, but he was a weed.
Liverpudlian or not.

Who are you callin' a weed?

What conclusive proof do you have that:
a.) Lennon was a weed.
b.) Elvis wasn't weedier.

Well none, im just saying Lennon was from Liverpool HE would win because he would fight extremely dirty.
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Jaz

If lennon wasn't a weed himself, he'd certainly be too stoned from smoking it.

Firstly Elvis came from Memphis, not exactly a peaceful part of the US, infact its a nasty place for a kid to grow up. Elvis could handle himeself.

Everybody knows Elvis is a kung-fu master, just check his moves.

AND

Elvis is documented as going to the White House to see Nixon, with one topic on his mind to share with the President- "What are we gonna do about this fukin' hippy(Lennon)?"

With these three things in his favour Elvis wins. On all count he wins. He is after all, THE KING.

Yeah. Because Nixon and Elvis were both so successful in all their endeavors, and Lennon was a notorious failure. Way to go, boys. Chalk up another for the good old U.S. of A.

yeah. you only have to look at the waist size of the average american to see Elvis succeeded in passing his message on. Shame no one can ever accept the messages that really matter.
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lil
tom