h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Grey Area said "TVs, kids, and rubbish piped music should all be banned from pubs, IMHO." I couldn't agree more. There are places for TV, places for kids, and places for decent music (piped shit just doesn't have a home, I'm afraid!)

Anyway... for the boarded-up pub, how about "The Board Decision"? I bet we could all have fun coming up with a traditional sign for that one...

Remember the Campaign for Real Ale?
Maybe we can organise a Campaign for Real Pubs!
A proper Saloon Bar, a proper Public, perhaps with dart board for those so inclined. A Snug, perchance?
Kids barred, no 8 foot wide TV with fights over the football, no bloody music. Bar staff that actually want to serve you?
Huh?

I think CAMRA do something about proper pubs (check out the conditions for entry into the good beer guide).

I'm suprised that people haven't seen a market for this. Oh yes they have it's Wetherspoons chain and the Hogshead (from Whitbred leasure company) chains. Shame they are all such similar across the board and don't have any individuality.

I guess it's tramping round the back streets to find the right kind of pub.

Quite agree Phil. There are good backstreet pubs to be found if you can be bothered to find them.
There is a pub in Gloucestershire in Ashleworth by the River called not surprisingly "The Boat". It gets flooded out several times a year. Still seves Real Ale and Local Cyder straight from Oak Barrels.
It is run by two elderly sisters, and probably since the universe began. It is just like wandering into a tiny country cottage.
And their idea of pub food is a chunk of Cheddar so strong that it will ulcerate the uneducated pallate, half a crusty loaf and some home made pickle if you want to be posh!
Many attempts have been made to "DEVELOP" it being as it attracts so much passing river trade and the Blazered Hee Haw brigades who are a sad part of the scene. I dread the day when they have to either retire or sell the pub to a brewery.............. No doubt we will have it renamed, it will be themed along some nauseating marine format. Oi, oi, oi.

Avast, there, me hearties! I be thinkin' it should be acalled "The Smugglers Rest", an' be all dark an' smugglin', like. Ah,Harrr!

Half way there me old shipmate, it be dark n spooky n smuggler like already!

You're right though, there are decent pubs about, it's finding them that's the problem. The George in Fordingbridge, Hampshire is an excellent place, and does great food. And it's right by the river, so you can push the kids, which they allow, in.

That's not to say they allow you to push kids in the river

I have nothing against children, I'd love to have some of my own.
BUT! A pub should be a refuge from kids and dorks!
And why is it that GCMs must do it with their mouth open?
(Gum Chewing Morons)
I only mean the genetic efluent who feel it is "Trendy" to chew, but also to chew gum with the mouth permanently OPEN! Thus emulating the superior IQ of a Camel, a Cow, or a Wilderbeast chewing grass a an essential need for survival. The real clever throwbacks, show their superiority by the prowess at moving a piece of gum from one side of their mouth to another, with the mouth open of course, to the disgust of the rest of the clientele of the drinks emporium...
Prices! Had a brilliant night at the BLACK BEAR last night, but it cost me £15! It cost my mate £15! That is £30!
And we both got home smelling of tobacco, and far too sober!
That in take home is a 5 days normal boozing for each of us! We need to get some perspective here!

Of course, the proximity of the river and the ancient bridge does raise the possibility of taking the kids out of the pub for an inpromptu game of Pooh Sticks!

Fine for you to say, but who is going to pay for my booze tonight?
Poos Sticks? Do you rub them together?

Is pooh sticks where you chuck the kids in and see which one comes up for air first

Nearly. It's where you chuck them in on the upstream side of the bridge, then rush to the downstream side, to see which one gets to the sea first!

big fat elephants fanny.

What an intellect!
You are depriving a village somwhere of an Idiot!

I propose we plant him somwhere and water him twice a week....

Just give him the chair in the corner by the fire...

What if he falls off the stool and ends up in the fire?

And is that a probem
Anyway sitting in a corner it's difficult to fall over, at least that's what I've found when considering these things in a falling over situation...

Yeah, but he might have to think AND keep balance on the stool, fall flat on his face and damage the floor!

Could be a problem then you're right.