Oh, shut up, wilya?


Hmm? I'm doing my introduction!


Look, I'm here, aren't I? Just let me tell me story and you try to stay out of the way,
okay?


Um. That's not the way things are normally done...


Well, then, I could just normally-like haul my keester out of this

chair and go home, couldn't I?


Um. Yes. And then what would I do?


Yes. What is it that you do, anyway?


I am an on-air personality. I am a continuity person. I am an interviewer...


Stop talking about yourself and let's get around to me!


Okay. Then, let me ask you...


Me! Me! Me! All you think about is YOU!


Well, I...


See! Now shut up, wilya, and let the good folks at home hear about me.


silence

Well?


Go ahead.


Thenk you. I am the President of the Society for the Reform of Illiterate Transcriptionists.


What?


The Society for the Reform of Illiterate Transcriptionists. We believe that

the transcribing of interviews should not be undertaken by culturally illiterate people.

We are raising money and awareness to get media corporations to hire people who can read, spell and learn

to fill the positions of interview transcriptionist online and in magazines and newspapers, not to mention books.


Is this a big problem?


A routine survey of online transcriptions shows not only an inability to use a spell-checker,

or at the very least a dictionary, but also an inability to understand the English language as

she is spoken by various dialects and age groups.


And...?


And also a general lack of knowledge of catch-phrases, idioms, technical terms and historical data.


For instance?


For instance, in one interview with a prominent guitar player, the brand name Martin was transcribed

as "Ma Tin", not only showing the ignorance of the subject on the part of the transcriber,

but also an ignorance of the syntactical idiosyncracies of the speaker.


But...


The sentence, as read, made no sense! The transcriber was just being a typist, and not a very good one!


Yet...


And in an historical instance, a lady who was being interviewed about the "Cuban Missile Crisis" was quoted as saying "Fido Castrol", instead of the gentleman in question!


I see.


I hope you do.


And what prompted your interest in this manner?


A poorly transcribed interview that I once gave.


Oh?


I had made reference to the automobile known as a "Studebaker" and the idiot at the keyboard thought I had said "stupid bastard"...


Good night, everybody!