IPR presents: The Man Who Invented Ignorance
Created | Updated Mar 18, 2004
The Man who invented ignorance.
In the annuals of science, there are many reasons why a grown man may weep.
We will not deal with those at the moment.
There are also many reasons why a grown woman may smile.
This is her business and we will leave her to it, as long as she changes the mop
head as soon as decently possible.
No, today we will not deal with innovation or wattage or Lord Kelvin's fetishes
nor Peregrine Williamson's fascination with ittle bittles of pointed steel...
No, today, we will detail the invention of the most important invention in the history
of practically everything: Ignorance.
No, really! Would I lie to you?
Hello!
Um, yes. Well. Hi.
I am S. Woolen Innertube, your interlocutor...
I thought they banned them...
Ah. Yes. Well, I'm in under the Grandfather clause...
Warning: this particular gag will not happen!
And you are?
What are you, ignorant?
No. I know who you are. But the audience doesn't?
What are they? Ignorant!
More unaware, I would think.
Ah. Then they won't owe me royalties.
What?
Now, that's an ignorant statement if I ever heard one. Five pounds, please.
Why?
Ten pounds.
This blank spot in the program is where the sound of a small beating once
was. For those truly interested, it will be on the IPR website ready for download
between 8:45 and 8:47 AM on Tuesday.
Oh, yes, a cheque would be quite all right. Thank you....
Please get off the floor.
Yes. All right. Whatever you say.
Now. Where was I?
Writing me a cheque.
No.
Yes. You expressed ignorance again...
I'll express you...
Ah. Never mind. Sorry.
Don't worry about it. Okay. You are Ignaz P. Rance, correct?
Yes.
You are the inventor of Ignorance, the tradmarked and copyrighted...
And patented...
Okay.
Didn't know that, did you?
Um. Yes, it's here in my notes.
Lucky you.
I'm reading your official corporate bio.
Oh?
From your company website.
My what?
Five pounds, please.
It doesn't work that way. I am the patent holder.
And I am the fellow with the Tom Mix decoder ring...
Ah. Yes. Um. Here's your money.
Thank you.
Now, what's this about a deb bite?
It's a thing on the net.
What net?
Have you been using your own product?
Um. Someone has to test it...
You're doing well.
Thank You.
