Wonko Inc®'s Multipurpose Map
Created | Updated Mar 18, 2004
Here it is- the only M.A.T. Map1!
Brought to you by Wonko Inc.®!This Multipurpose Area Teleportation Map is the most useful thing you can have, whether you're adventuring, raiding tombs, battling hordes of flesh-eating sausages, or bathing! Just touch the spot you want, say the magic word2, and... POOF! You're off! A complete list of features is available below. This special St. Patrick's Day Edition of the MATMap includes a bonus Multipurpose Scroll Case FREE3! Try it now, and you won't be disappointed!
The complete list of features:
- It sparkles just a little bit.
- After you study the enclosed manual for approximately one hour and cast a small invocation, just sleep on it and the map will magically map out the terrain around you!45
- Doing the above more than once can get you a multi-layer map of the terrain, going underground into caves and covering many levels of buildings. However, changes to the terrain won't be updated until you perform the invocation again.
- Lower layers of terrain are faded and appear to be behind the focused layer, but touching the magic circle on the map and willing it with your mind will bring the layer forward. Higher layers are very light, nearly transparent, and appear to float above the paper, but you can bring them into focus with the same feature.
- This is the greatest bit:Touching a spot on the map with the included silver rod will instantly teleport you there! Warning: the map cannot distinguish between safe areas and unsafe areas.
So do you want it? We know you do! Just contact Wonko Inc® below and send in $249.99!67
This editiong of the map comes with:
- The map8.
- The case.
- A 58-page manual.
- A silver rod.
- The keyword scroll.
- Some random ad pamphlets.
- A pot-of-gold keychain.
Order Today!
1St. Patrick's Day Edition2YOUR unique magic code, included on a dissolvable sheet of paper in the case!3Just like every other edition4The map can map a 1 mile square area. The prices of larger sizes increase exponentially.5Places without air are not detected by the Map.6Yes we know it's a lot but the diamond material components of the spells this requires are rather expensive.7We discriminate horribly on sales of this item, and only give it to nice people who have a good reason for wanting it.8On aged parchment, approximately 2 feet by 1.3 feet.
