h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Er Flatware? Is that like things ("ware") used by flat people? In the same way that kitchen ware is used in the kitchen?

No - it's cutlery used by americans

Actually technically only the knife is cutlery, everything else (knife, spoon, even spork i suppose) is flatlery. Strange but true. And trust me this is true.

I resent that remark, smudge! I'm an American and the only flatware I use is a large steak knife and a plastic spatula, and that's only to make my burritos(which I eat with my hands). Please, before making such a blanket generalzation of my county, use that jiggling mass of neurons inside your skull to do something other than make tea.

Kiz
Proud to be an American!

Kiz, i don't think he/she mentioned a word about your county...

Really? I honestly didn't notice. Sorry if anyone thought I was a mindless flamer. I was just being my normal, caffinated, hyperactive self.

Sorry for the disturbance. I'll go do something else before I jam my foot any further into my gaping maw.

Oh? Would you prefer 'silverware', and give the impression that your spork is made of a precious (to some, anyway) metal?

'Flatware' is a generalization of implements that (normal) people (normally) use to convey pie to their pie-hole.

It's an unbritishism, to correct for silliness.

The correct name for this useful piece of ... whatever, is SPLAYD. They really exist, we were given a set for a wedding present (a long, long time ago)and even then they had been around for a while. Ours are stainless steel, and vaguely annoying. Don't hold enuogh soup, & the tines split the vegies because they're too short.
Oh i've just remembered, the Splayd actually takes things one step further. The sides of the spoon/fork area are designed to be straightish, & almost sharp! Sharp enough to pass for a blunt knife & cut things by squashing, & blunt enough to avoid litigation. Truly a marvel of compromise, the Splayd succeeds in doing nothing particularly well.

I generally use silverware, although I wouldn't use that to refer to a spork. I think a spork is more "cafeteriaware" than anything else, don't you? That's almost the sole occurence of sporks, if cafeterias.

How correct you are. The splayd was also part of the elaborate process of moving younger males out of the household. It was also another part of the '70' s yes that decade. Personally, I prefer chopsticks, what sort of ware would they be?

Bambooware? Slightly thicker than a piece of card ware? Elephant skelf ware? Badly designed pencil ware?
All legitimate options I would think.

I agree, and even fly catching ware (if you're quick enough that is)

I have now acquired the image of someone charging a fly in a jousting type manner with a chopstick. Thankyou. I shall treasure it

OK Kiz - no offense intended (in fact is this the first recorded case of dining implement related umbridge-taking?). As it happens I'm american, and my mom occasionally lapses back into USAspeak despite many years in the UK (Land of Cutlery).
So at my parents house, knives/forks/spoons etc are referred to as: flatware, cutlery, or more often 'thingummybobs'.

You're welcome, all I can say is I hope it was a marsh (march) fly...

In my case the only silverware we have in the house is an engraved spork with squirrels and my name on (given by a mad (american, though I'm sure there's no link there) aunt for my christening.
My 3 year old daughter loves it and will eat peas with nothing else.
Unlike Dope on a Rope's sporks which do nothing particularly well, I can honestly say that mine is of precious little use.

If someone likes it, it's useful. How useful is really a matter of opinion, though I would agree that sporks don't have any large number of uses.