The love/hate relationship with love/hate relationships.
Created | Updated Feb 6, 2004
The yo-yo effect in modern conflict resolution.
In order to resolve something, you have to admit that there is a problem. In order to admit there is a problem, you have to believe that there is a solution. In order to believe that there is a solution, you have to find a point beyond which there is no return. In order to find a point beyond which there is no return, you have to realize that problem resolution doesn't always work. In order to realize that problem resolution doesn't always work, you have to have tried, and having tried, failed.
Modern conflict resolution techniques often involve a 'let's try this and see what happens' approach, playing solitaire with the people and the situation. A true professional will not let failure stop him from doing his job nor let success go to her head. Thus, the actual constituents of the conflict are just pawns in the professional's game of collecting the check. Not all conflicts are designed to be resolved. Sometimes you just have to tell the parties to go their separate ways and try to stay out of trouble from now on. In other cases, there is no real problem, just the usual workplace stress peaking and some busy body deciding that it is their job to bring peace to the world whether it wants it or not. Some humans and occupations thrive on competition and stark comparisons of abilities and perceptions. Everybody in the advertising game cannot see things the same way or there would be no business for anyone.
Humans are just as territorial as anything else. If the conflict resolution comes from another territory, if the mediator of the conflict doesn't care whose turf he is on, then the parties supposedly in conflict may very well turn and unite against the intruder. This is not wholly an anti-intellectual maneuver. If the conflict resolution mediator truly had any sense of their place in the scheme of things, then they would be marking their own territory, competing with their own kind, instead of looking for ways and places to meddle.
Sometimes you just have to mark out the ring, hand out the gloves and ding the bell, hoping you have enough merthiolate and plasters for the aftermath. Because even referees have to know when to step in and when to get out of the way.