h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As a South African I speak from experience of the barbeque - except we refer to it as a "braai" (pr. "bry" as in "dry").
Hardwood briquettes? I urge you to experience a genuine African bushveld "braai". The sound of crickets, the hoot of owl, a clear sky, totally covered in stars, a large fire of hardwood branches and a cold lager in the hand. Nothing can match this for a setting.

Add to this a bed of coals scraped from under the flaming logs and you have the ultimate heat bed for the preparation of good aged beef, or Karoo-thorn bush-fed lamb, or a smoked warthog shoulder or haunch...

When it comes to steak, give me a well-hung 2.5cm slice of rump, well rubbed in olive oil and ground pepper. While the rest of the company are just starting to get into the mood and the flames are raging above the logs, secure the wire grill frame and toss the slab of steak onto the grill. Allow the flames to flare up, turning the olive oil a deep brown (any other oil turns black and unpalatable).

Turn over once only and allow the flame to do its work. Remove immediately and serve. If you like your meat medium-rare, this is the ultimate steak! If you prefer a more cremated steak, just choose a thinner slice of steak and cook it for the same time. Three to four minutes of cooking and you have your meat done to perfection...

The ideal barbeque in my South Australian parts is close to the African model. Cook one round at a time - never place meat on a tray to keep it warm! The only reason for serving the meat away from the fire is the number of eaters.

Barbecued fish is wonderful. If it must be eaten straight from the fire, why would I treat steak, chops or sausages with any less honour?

I must try the olive oil thing...