Far be it from me to take advantage of another person's misfortune...

without looking for a punchline.

I misheard or misapprehended what someone said on Wednesday night.

The result was more interesting than the reality.

This acquaintance of mine was dealing with a fellow who was quite drunk and upset and threatening suicide.

He had a pen knife and there was a cut on his throat, a tiny one.

This acquaintance was helping another individual attempt to diffuse the situation, apparently in some official capacity.

Any attempts to clarify the situation in my mind were quashed when the next bit of information was revealed:

"After a bit, we managed to get the baseball bat away from him..."

That did it.

Quoth I, "He was going to commit suicide with a baseball bat?! Man, only in Texas!"

All further serious discussion was disrupted while the assembled parties also contemplated that scenario.

"Don't try to stop me or I'll hit myself!"

I am now thoroughly ashamed of myself for interrupting the fellow who was telling this real-life story.

I am also thoroughly ashamed that I can't find a way to make a buck out of this visual image.