h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As you cross the River Tamar, pronounce it 'Tamer', as in 'lion-tamer'. Remember now to stress the second-to-last syllable of any name of Cornish origin (which will include all but one of those beginning 'Tre-', 'Pol-' or 'Pen-') and the last syllable of most two-syllable names. Cross over from England by ferry to Tor-POINT, cross the toll-bridge (free of charge; you pay to get back!) to Salt-ASH or else across the medieval bridge to Gunnis-LAKE. You will probably go through or round Liskeard (Lis-KARD) and, if you do, the next village is Dob-WALLS. If you prefer to stress the first syllable, you will be happier in Launceston (LAN-son), Callington ('Cal', not 'Cawl') or Bodmin. If you stray off the main road, take care with Quethiock (QUITH-ick, with the hard 'th' as in 'with') and, if you go through St. Ive to get there, it is pronounced as if it were St. Eve. Further west, mind the one which breaks the rules - Tregoney (TREG'ny). If you get lost on the way from Looe to Polperro, take care with Pelynt (one syllable - 'Plint') and nearby Lanreath (Lan-RETH with a short 'e'). You will find the same short 'e' further north at St. Teath (Teth, not 'teeth'). Oddly Perranporth is stressed on the last syllable. There are a few more traps for the unwary - but if you go around with your ears wide open and your mouth opened only with caution, you should get on fine. You will be made all the more welcome if you get it right, too.

Fantastic stuff, arghans - many thanks for these

I love to visit Cornwall, and I might just blend in a little easier now when I do