h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok, this is what the Telephone Preference Service won't tell you:

For the cold-call, six o'clock, just-in-the-middle-of-dishing-out-tea, double glazing salesman, a responder who just says 'no thank you' is ideal. Just 30 seconds wasted.

What we need to stop these guys is serious time wasting, to increase costs beyond the point where it is worth them calling.

My favourite is: ' Well, it's funny you phoned, I'm just about to replace my windows...oh, hang on a minute, there is someone at the door' then LEAVE THE PHONE OFF THE HOOK and go away. All night if necessary.

I have other suggestions:

'Can I ask who you wish to speak to... just putting you through now...BEEP (you will need to practice a credible beep noise) ... then LEAVE THE PHONE OFF THE HOOK and go away. All night if necessary.

Ok, get it? I'm sure you ahve your own favourites.

Furtle on, brothers...

Furtlefinch

'Ar is a word.
Ahar is a sentence'.