Poem 6 Christmas 2006
Created | Updated Dec 21, 2006
 |
The Post
Christmas Poetry Competition 2006
Santa's Diary: Haiku by quizzical
Here we go again:
another flippin' Christmas.
Ho-ho-ho. Ho. Ho.
Freezing my giblets...
Global warming?? Mild winters!?!
Who are they kidding?
Pa-rum-pa-pa-pum,
stupid song rattles my brain —
where's the aspirin?
The wife avoids me.
Is she plotting with the elves?
Naughty List for her!
Thousands of letters:
'Dearest Santa, give give give...'
**Return To Sender**
... toys toys toys toys toys
toys toys toys toys toys toys toys ...
someone make it stop...
Air Traffic Control
gives me grief over flight plans.
(Feed the reindeer beans.)
Stuffed like a bratwurst
into a shiny red suit —
I hear the elves snort.
Hours in a cold sleigh
make my hæmorrhoids play up.
Job's a pain in the ...
Cookies and milk. All
night long it's cookies and milk.
They give me heartburn.
Down the chimney — oops!
The red suit is in tatters.
Stupid Rottweiler.
Another chimney.
Alarms blare, police arrive:
another mug shot.
By the hearth she waits:
hot toddy, hotter ideas.
Naughty List? Ho, ho!
No time for a smoke.
More roofs, more chimneys. No
rest for the Fat Man.
Big jobs need big men.
The name is Claus. Santa Claus.
I deliver toys.
