h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oxymoron?

Well, at least a contradiction in terms.

Unless, of course, you're talking about US TV.

American cheese is perfectly normal and relatively tasteful. I will admit I would take a slice of chedar or Swiss over it any day, but it is cheap and edible, so bug off. And another thing, many TV shows are awful, I will admit, but that dosen't make American broadcasting as a whole bad.

But, American cheese is really just very mild cheddar... The metaphoric implications are limitless.

I am sorry, but American Cheese is *not* simply a very mild cheddar. While it may seem to taste that way, it is not a cheddar at all. Technically, it is not even cheese. American Cheese (in this area usually referred to as 'process cheese', which has implications all its own) is produced from milk, oil, and water in an unknown process completely unrelated to that in which real cheese is produced. i.e. there is no curdling of the milk involved, which is what defines cheese as cheese.

On a side note, *real* cheese fans do *not* regularly partake in process cheeses. Believe me. This is taken *very* seriously around here. By the way, 'here' is Plymouth, Wisconsin, and as you can read on the plaque which adorns the 4 meter dairy cow statue at the center of town, Plymouth also happens to be the self-proclaimed Cheese Capital of the World.

Dead serious.

Now I'd better get back to getting out of this place.....

No, its the over the top acting, canned laughter and pathetic necessity to end every show in the most corny way possible, that makes American broadcasting as a whole bad