h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I heard a dreadful rumour that Lucas now wants to direct parts 2 and 3. He must be stopped! Star Wars and The Phantom Menace are the weakest of the series so far, mainly because Empire and Jedi were directed by people who cared about the acting as much as the special effects. As Harrison Ford said of the dialogue, "You can write this stuff George, but you sure can't say it" and please God let someone who realises that direct the next two.
Return of the Jedi is the best one, by the way.

I must protest. Jedi is the worst one. Star Wars and Empire are 1 and 2 (almost equal first in fact) followed by Phantom then Jedi.

Jedi is ruined by the Ewocks. No film containing these creatures can be taken seriously. They are so bad that even Jar Jar Binks is preferrable (and that is really saying something). Also, Phantom has Yoda and any film with Yoda is OK by me

Chances are that George Lucas is not doing the next two because he has "better things to do". In particular the new Indiana Jones movie(s).
Personally i find that A New Hope is the best because its core is basically good vs bad and the hero is a rogue and a boy from a remote place. Return of the Jedi had the best battles because it was the finale for all three films. It also had the latest technology of the three.
Ewok were there for the merchandise and to make people (girls in particular) "Oh, how cute!".
Empire Strikes Back would be less favourible action wise, except for that really cool AT-AT scene on Hoth at the start.

You are right about New Hope. It has been carefully crafted to contain all the elements of a "blockbuster". Young innocent hero versus totally evil Man in Black. Rebels take on imperial war machine. Dispossed royalty, a powerful ghost, droid comedians etc. It definately works the best of the 4 as a stand alone movie.

The reason I put Empire up there with New Hope is partly because of the scenes on Hoth but mainly because of Yoda. He is a great character (if you can get round the fact that he sounds like Grover from Sesame Street). The scenes with Yoda and Luke really define what the force is - Tibetan Buddhisim by any other name- and so are really central to the Star Wars Universe.

And I know that the Ewocks were put in for merchandising and to get the chicks into the series. I am living proof that this approach does not work! Remove all cute furry creatures from Star Wars immediately. Chewbacca is the only exception because he's mean, not cute.

I'm shocked that you are against the Ewoks! Not even the baby ones give you a smile?

Star Wars are great movies, but the main reason I'm into star wars (especially the computer games that are spawned from it) is the cool ships!

The massive and invincible looking Star Destroyer in the opening scene of A New Hope chasing Princess Leia. This was soon dwarfed by the Super Star Destroyer!
The fighters are my favourite though. From the industrial X-wing with its violet glowing engines and unmistakable s-foil wing configuration, to the sleek Naboo starfighter, to the nible but fragile TIE fighters.
I know that they don't follow science as we know it (e.g. TIEs making whinning noises in deep space), but the star battles are Star Wars' greatest asset.

Baby ewocks just make it worse..... i want to poke out their eyes, stick the eyeballs on a toothpick and plunge them into my martini.

I'll stop obsessing about them now and get onto something more interesting. Ships in SW's. How can you talk about them without mentioning the Milennium Falcon? I love that ship. It looks really cool, is totally maneuverable but it's held together with luck, hope and gaffa tape.

Somewhere I saw a list of the top ten space ships of all time. The Milennium Falcon was in there.

My top three wouold be the Tardis, the Borg cube then the Milennium Falcon

new indianna jones? tell me more.
Jedi IS the best. tell me that the whole jabba sequence isn't perfect. and what aboout the emperor? His is the finest character and the finest performance in the series so far, and all his best bits are in jedi. "You want this...don't you?" "And now young skywalker...you will die" "I'm afraid the deathstar will be fully operational when your fwiends arrive." genius.
A new hope lacks pace, has terrible dialogue and worse performances. it looks fantastic (apart from the wolfman in mos eisley), but as a coherant film, it sucks. so there.

I dont know the details, but Lucas is definately doing the new Indiana Jones movie(s). He even has Lucasarts making the computer game for it. It's true! Go to www.lucasarts.com if you don't believe me.

The Indiana Jones game you are refering to is intitles "The Infernal Machine", however, it is purely fiction on the part of Lucasarts and has nothing to do with the new film. If there is a new film in the pipeline... Harrison's getting a wee bit old at this stage.

Oh, and Leonardo DiCaprio to play Anakin in the next two....ouch. Can you picture it?
"I'm the King of the Galaxy!"
I hope George knows what he's doing...

I have to say, the best film in my opinion has to be "empire stricks back", simply because of the fact that it contains most of the plot for the entire triogy, "return of the jedi" is good as a fight movie, and is a great fianle because of this, but still, empire is fractiopnally ahead...
otherwise, "A new hope" is great and "phantom menace" well, if you take it as an introductory move, where they show you the caracters and what they are capable of, personaly I think "a new hope" had sush a great following simply because it didn't go to all the great lenghs of long introductions... but I'm sure people out there will disagree with me there

Also as a quick note.. is any one else out there disapointed to hear that the last trilogy will never be made??

The rumor isn't a rumor. Lucas has said he will direct AT LEAST Episode II, and I, too, wish that he wouldn't. While no one can argue with his abilities as a producer, his directing and writing leave MUCH to be desired.

Everyone seems to have a different SW favorite; mine is Empire Strikes Back. The directing, acting and script seem to be of a higher quality than the New Hope or ROTJ. Another reason I like Empire is because it was the darkest entry in the original trilogy. While Luke and Leia were "triumphant" in the end, the victory was definitely pyrrhic. Luke got away from Vader, but literally lost his hand--and discovered that his worst enemy was actually the father he believed to be dead. Han was frozen in carbonite within seconds of Leia's confession that she loved him. Lando apparently found it necessary to abandon the town he built to the Empire. Even Darth Vader had "beaten" his own son in battle and made his real identity known, yet Vader wasn't victorious in his goal of bringing Luke to the Dark Side.

Since the bittersweet ending is what I like about ESB, I understand I'll really like the next two movies. They're supposed to be dark and not very happy. My guess is that Episode II will have Anakin turning to the Dark Side; in Episode III, the Jedi will be exterminated, and only by sheer luck will Obi-Wan escape that fate himself by flinging Anakin into a molten pit. Whether or not my guess is correct, there's no way Episode III can have a super-happy ending. After all, we KNOW that the Empire will be victorious in overtaking the Republic and eradicating the Jedi. We KNOW that Obi-Wan and Amidala (if she lives) must go into hiding from Anakin/Vader, taking Luke and Leia with them. All that remains to be seen now is how Lucas will get us there.