h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Kamikaze ways of the Dallasite:
-- Always carry with you a small shrine to your favorite deity. This ensures a just reward in your afterlife of choice. Even if you are swearing a blue streak as you bite the dust, you are most likely absolved of all sins if your demise should occur in the middle of the mix-master since you have already endured Hell.
-- Pay no attention to the people stopping and backing up in the middle of the expressway. This is perfectly normal, and nothing to be remarked upon.
-- Always resist the urge to bite the steering wheel, as it is considered a sign of weakness, and any minor crack in your callous, heartless exterior will be immediately exploited by people, who, while relatively blameless in the scheme of things the rest of the time, become the Angels of Doom during the hours of 4-6pm on weekdays.
-- Never change lanes when stuck in traffic, because as soon as you move into a lane that seemed fluid, it will suddenly halt, and the lane you were previously in will start flying like a bat (doused in gasoline) out of Hell.