h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Next time your on holiday in a rural part of the UK, e.g. Wales, North of England, Scotland etc., There are a few things to remember...

1 you might well be on holiday, not everybody else is... so please drive at a proper driving speed , not crawling along at 20 mph so you can look at the view cos its nice!

2 You CAN fit through that gap when you suddenly come on a car coming the other way... when someone says" you could get a bus through there!" - they're not joking!

3 respect the speed limit - 30mph in a 30 cos its safer like that - The No limits sign does not mean do about 45 ish - it means do a minimum of 60 everywhere - even around corners!!

4 Watch out for sheep in the road - some have been known to be members of an undercover mugging team who wonder around the road waiting for tourists to slow down so they can have a go at pickpocketing or something - Don't let them fool you - treat them as you would a windscreen washer in the city - don't slow down!!

5 If its been raining - it'll be wet, so you might well skid - a good way of checking if a road might be a bad road is check for bits of the wall that are not there - If they are missing - then a car skided there - bad road!

6 there is no No6

Rule 5 has many variations depending on climate altitude season locale . Ones I have observed include keeping a minimum speed within tourist areas during the 'season' - especially when people have a schedule to keep to , most typically seen by myself when going to a ferry - usually the last of the day . Also never remember that snow and ice can be safely driven on above walking pace and forget all such skills when there is a thaw . Also kid on you know the police by waving - it really gets them thinking .