h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One peculiar thing the drivers in Pittsburgh, Pa. like to do is not go when the traffic signal turns green. It seems the local etiquette is for the first vehicle waiting to turn left to have the right of way, then traffic may resume at its usual frentic pace. It can be quite embarassing to not know this rule as the second vehicle in line. The light turns green, you hit the accellerator, you hit the car in front of you and you have a very difficult time of it in traffic court explaining why you rammed into the rear of another auto. Equally dangerous is being the first vehicle in a stack at a red signal. The light turns green and you begin to go straight through the intersection only to find that the person on the other side has turned left into your path, assuming you would not drive through a green signal as per Pittsburgh-etiquette rules. That collision can be equally embarassing because the traffic officer wil invariably find you at fault for causing the accident by driving through the green signal!

You just reminded me of my first accident in New Orleans,La.I had just driven through a green light when somebody plowed their Suburban Assault Vehicle right into my car.I was a victim of the 1.5 second rule.This is the unwritten law in New Orleans that says that for the first 1.5 seconds of your green light at the intersection and the last second of their yellow light and .5 seconds of their red light that person screaming by has the right of way.The police don't see it that way but 90% of the population does. (And as always, they aren't speed limits,just speed suggestions.)

Other things to keep in mind when driving in Pittsburgh (as people with those silly Ohio and West Virginia plates don't seem to understand) is that Yield means Stop. Yes, I repeat. Yield means Stop. There is a truth distortion field over all highways that reverses the usual roles of signage and methods for overtaking vehicles. One particular example of this warpage is at the Ohio River Boulevard and I-279 on-ramp. The sign says "Yield" and maybe 11% of the people, upon arriving at this location, actually obey this sign. The particular problem is Pittsburghers, being in one of three counties in Pennsylvania with a 55mph speed limit, actually drive 25-30 milles over this. Add to the fact that the lorries around here also make the same speeds, and you end up in quite a pickle.

Another example stems from the same, horrid, i-279 where all entrances to the highway have a stop sign. Of course, this gives Pittsburghers the absolute *right* to speed as much as possible. This added to the fact that one of the exits is uphill, and the same lane is also an exit lane, you take you life in your own hands every day on that one.

Some things about the city itself. Like any city there is traffic. Most of this traffic appears on the east and south sides of town. This is due to a mental disorder called "Tunnelitis." It is the result of boring holes through tonnes of rock for the convienence of the drivers. Sure, it's supposed to cut ten or so minutes off of your journey, but it has the irritating habit of adding ten or so as you wait for a two lane road to merge into a two lane tunnel. It's not so much the fact that there is no birm that's the problem, it's just the slight glimpse of infinity (or at least a finite, visibile facimile thereof) drives local motorists insane. If anywhere there needed to be a sign stating "Don't Panic" in large, friendly letters, it would be here in Pittsburgh