h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Dogs are man's best friend. I love them. They are loving, faithful and playful with a keen interest in anything that can be chased.

Bear this in mind and remember to keep dogs under control in the country. It may be very natural for them to chase chickens but the farmer will be none too pleased.

Similarly, you may know that your dog 'wouldn't harm a fly' but those who see your pooch running towards them barking and snarling, haven't a clue that he's a big softie. Call your dog off! Don't laugh and tell your fellow human being that there's nothing to panic about. There's a lot to panic about if the thing's teeth is less than a foot away from your leg. Your dog acts on your isntructions - if you laugh, or ignore it's behaviour you may inadvertently find yourself in court after it's taken a nasty chunk out of someone or something's leg.

And don't let your dog toilet on farmland. What looks like a field of long grass to you is in fact a fodder crop for livestock, so don't let your dog charge through it flattening it either. Dog sh*t is not "part of the country" - cow pats, sheep dung and rabbit pips are!