A quirky look at wildlife. To be taken with a pinch of
salt, but with more than a grain of truth!

Checking my bird records the other day I noticed that during a period from before Christmas to well after the New Year I had only been seeing one Magpie most of the time. Of course, it may not have been the same one, but the old verse came to mind as this coincided with a period when we had one piece of sad news after another. I am pleased to say we are now seeing two at a time, so perhaps there is some joy in the offing? Now, how does it go?

One for sorrow, Two for joy,

Three for a girl, Four for a boy,

Five for silver, Six for gold,

Seven for a secret, never to be told.

I must check and see if four were coming around the time two of my friends produced boys! Oh, and the silver and gold wouldn't come amiss thank you. As for the secret never to be told - none of my neighbours know about my Badgers!

This set me thinking about how embedded in our language birds and animals have been for hundreds of years. I also wondered if the same thing is found in other countries? Those of us of a certain age will be familiar with many of the expressions, but I wonder if this part of our language is dying out with younger generations, as we lose touch with the Earth and the lessons it provides? Along with nursery rhymes, hymns, prayers and the National Anthem we learnt these things 'parrot fashion' and they stay with us all our lives. No longer it seems.

For example, those who know me well will tell you I usually have a 'bee in my bonnet' about something, usually to do with Nature. Of course, birdwatching daily as I do, many of the sayings become very clear. The 'pecking order' is very noticeable as birds vie for the highest perch on the feeders, or the highest branch on the tree, the dominant ones always getting top spot and the freshest food. Watching Foxes or Badgers it is easy to see where 'top dog' comes from, though in some species it is the female matriarch who is 'top dog'.

Of course you can tell squirrels to keep off the feeder 'till the cows come home' and they still ignore you! To feed the birds I have to be 'up with the lark' or they are queuing up. There is little food left and, occasionally, they leave things behind by way of calling cards. Then I don't 'look a gift horse in the mouth' as they drop seeds in my garden which subsequently grow into flowers and even, on one occasion, in to a prohibited plant!!

Our visiting cat, nicknamed Ginger Devil, thought he was the 'cat's whiskers' catching birds regularly. Until we got a sensor to zap him and send him on his way unharmed and now he behaves 'like a bear with a sore head'. These days I am finding I get a 'bird's eye view' of so much wildlife from my bedroom window that I am reluctant to go and do the chores and, as I don't have 'the memory of an elephant', I have to make a list of all the birds I see and all the chores I must do before I forget. My other half calls me a 'butterfly brain' as I flit from birdwatching, to writing, to housework, reading, then the computer during the course of a day, but it stops me from going 'barking mad'. On a bad day he calls me 'birdbrain' but doesn't realise I regard that as a compliment, as they are so clever. Some people of my acquaintance think I have 'bats in the belfry' but I don't, though there are some under the nearby railway bridge. Real 'fly by nights' these.

If I stand still when outside, the birds - especially the Robin, will come and feed up close, particularly if I have Mealworms on offer, but of course only 'the early bird catches the worm'. I haven't discovered a 'snake in the grass' as yet, at least not the animal kind, though it is possible where I live. I am 'as stubborn as a mule' - still feeding the birds in spite of the appearance of the occasional 'dirty rat'. I am most definitely not 'as brave as a lion' when it comes to a close encounter with Rats though I am quite happy with my Wood Mouse.

The Woodpigeons come charging in to the garden like 'a bull at a gate' causing havoc with their 'pigeon toed' gait and flapping wings. They are getting as 'fat as a pig' on the pickings in our garden, but watching them making 'sheeps' eyes' at one another when courting is so cute they are worth it. When first buying wild bird food, perhaps from a market stall or pet shop, it is easy to be taken in and buy 'a pig in a poke' - bags of food that contain more peas, corn and cereal, than proper wild bird food, which attracts hoards of Pigeons but little else.

The Magpies come down 'strutting like Peacocks' and the Jays too, their feathers standing up in a crest on their heads, can be bully boys too and 'prickly as a hedgehog' if another bird gets in the way, but just like most bullies, they are 'scaredy cats' really. The Grey and Pied Wagtails drop in as 'quiet as a lamb' and they seem to have taken to our garden 'like a duck to water'. There are many local pools just a short distance away 'as the Crow flies' but it is quite a walk for me, so I am glad to see them visit me, as does the Heron from time to time.

It is breathtaking and scary when the Sparrowhawk arrives 'like a bat out of hell' as the small birds gather round the feeders like 'moths round a flame'. If she catches one of my favourite birds I am metaphorically 'spitting feathers' but she does it for real! If she lands and misses her quarry, she stands on the fence or the wall balefully glaring with her 'eagle eye' at the Cotoneaster bush, where poor little Dunnocks sit quivering and 'quiet as a mouse' until she has gone. But the real star is the Kestrel, diving from a hundred feet up to catch a beetle in the grass - now he surely is the origin of 'eyes like a hawk'.

'Birds of a feather flock together' as Starlings gather, swooping and gliding in glorious formation at sunset, as they head to roost in the city. The Crow lands near our hot chimney pot hopping about like 'a cat on a hot tin roof', but is very much a 'dog in the manger' when a Magpie wants to share the warmth! Of course our 'dark horse' is the Badger with its family that appears in the night to scrounge left-over bird food and anything I put out for them. They had been coming for quite a while before I spotted them. I really have to be a 'night owl' to see them. One night all the food was gone and, boy, was I 'in the dog house' - she dug a yard/metre square piece of lawn up in her frustration, so this 'wise old owl' now makes sure there is enough food to go round!

I have yet to see a Green Woodpecker, though I have heard one laughing, and this summer I plan to coax a visit. Our houses are built on what is almost an ant hill, and it is not uncommon to get 'ants in your pants' when gardening, so this year I am transplanting some of the little blighters to a mound at the bottom of the garden, encouraged by a blob of jam, and I shall be 'up with the lark' even more than usual in the hope of catching sight of one as I understand they are early risers.

Will she ever shut up, you ask? Well, 'pigs might fly' but I haven't been seeing 'pink elephants' and I am not 'drunk as a skunk'! I just felt like having a bit of fun for a change, so my apologies if you were looking for a serious article.

There are many more animal expressions that I could include, and there are sure to be many local to just your area, but I found it an interesting experiment to see how our birds, animals and insects have been absorbed in to our language. The English language is colourful and ever-changing but I do hope we are not going to lose these age-old expressions along with the wildlife.

Websailor's Wacky Wildlife World Archive

Websailor

23.03.06 Front Page

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