h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Stephen Colbert had fun sneaking onto the Democrats' stage in Philly with his stuffed ferret. He also had some funny bits on his live show:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvO3qV8kNVA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH4iSF96tFY

It's sort of a shame. Mr Colbert feels obligated to insult both sides, which is laudable. But it means he can't do what I'm about to do.

Which is explain how impressed I was. And I only cheer for them a little more than I detest whatever that was in Cleveland. Though I do approve Bernie Sanders. Eugene V Debs would be proud of you, Mr Sanders.

First, it was hot as blazes. Except when lightning storms were threatening to rip up the media tent. (Kite, key, guys, get it? Make some Ben Franklin references.)

Then, they were all shouting so loud for the first two hours, you thought their sound system would go out. Instead, their internet went out a couple of times. The speakers kept yelling, and one told them,'You people are ridiculous.'

Another Dem official put it better: 'This is what democracy looks like, people.'

And then it hit me: it *is* what real democracy looks like. They yelled. They fussed. They made jokes. They had great music - Paul Simon showed up and sang 'Bridge Over Troubled Water', and there was a bit of 'We've All Gone to Look for America' behind Bernie's entrance.

And I had to imagine what the Founders would have thought if you could have shown them this, 240 years ago, when they were mulling over whether it was worth risking being hanged (and possibly drawn and quartered) for signing that paper...

I figured that once those guys in kneebritches had gotten over all the women speaking in public (the Quakers in the crowd wouldn't have batted an eye), absorbed the idea that black Americans were equal to everybody at this shindig (wouldn't have bothered Ben, he was in the first antislavery society), marveled at all the Spanish instead of German, and then...once you'd explained what LGBTQ stood for...and scraped them up off the floor and fanned them back into consciousness...

...they'd probably conclude that it had all been worth it. This was what they'd dreamed of, only better. And, er, louder. But hey, it was that thing they'd been talking about, like, forever...democracy. At work.

And then they might have settled in with the rest of the delegates for the seven-hour show. They'd have experienced:

- The mayor of Baltimore open the meeting, leave, realise she'd forgotten to hit the gavel, run back (in high heels) strike the gavel dramatically, then run off again. (Why does Bal'mer get the nice-looking mayor? What did they do right?)
- The invocation being interrupted with applause and shouting. (Dems let God know what they're thinking.)
- Films mocking a certain enemy politician. Mostly by quoting him verbatim. (These were good bits.)
- People telling fascinating stories.
- Actually good speeches that you could actually relate to. And that didn't require you to check your brain at the door. (John Adams would have enjoyed them.)
- A sneaky sort of educational speechwriting that slyly introduced the themes, ideas, and catchphrases for the upcoming 100-day campaign. (Thomas Jefferson and Tom Paine would have appreciated this, they were good at it, too.)

So, no, I didn't watch any 'X-Files' reruns last night. And I didn't get to bed early. And the hall was full the whole time.

Dems: A+ for Day 1.