Tennis Humour
Created | Updated Jul 4, 2002
Tennis Humour
Anyone who can leap a three-foot net after a match should take up track and field.
We have 750 players in our tennis club. Well, actually there are 50. The other 700 are waiting for a court.
The Bible records the first tennis match in history when Moses served in Pharaoh's court.
Today's tennis pros are so young they give autographs on Etcho-Sketches.
He purposely hits his first serve into the net. He doesn't want be cheated out of his second shot.
To err is human. To put the blame on someone else is doubles.
A tennis player went to the doctor because he heard music whenever he played. The physician cured him by removing his headband.
Age has no bearing on your tennis game. It just keeps you from winning.
You Cannot Be Serious
'McEnroe has got to sit down and work out where he stands' - Fred Perry
'She comes from a tennis playing family. Her father's a dentist' - BBC 2
'You can almost hear the silence as they battle it out - Dan Maskell
'Billie Jean King, with the look on her face that says she can't believe it... because she never believes it, and yet, somehow, I think she does.' - Maz Robertson
'We haven't had any more rain since it stopped raining' - Harry Carpenter
'These ball boys are marvellous. You don't even notice them. There's a left handed one over there. I noticed him earlier.' -
Max Robertson
'And here's Zivojinovic, six foot six inches tall and fourteen pounds ten ounces.' - Dan Maskell
'This is the third week the fish seem to be getting away from British tennis players.' - Gerald Williams
'Chip Hooper is such a big man that it is sometimes difficult to see where he is on the court.' - Mark Cox
...and finally
'The Gullikson twins here. An interesting pair, both from Wisconsin.' - Dan Maskell
