h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My favourite pub was a true English hostelry, The Old Neptune. It is built on the beach (a little subsided but it adds to the character), has the original floorboards, not carpet. The old wooden bar sloped down towards the sea so locals knew never to order a beer from that end as they would lose half of it, mostly into their lap. Visitors could then be easily spotted by the wet patch on their trousers. The pub sold real and had the best atmosphere a pub could have. A person could prop the bar up for hours and never be short of a friendly face to talk to. Sadly it was sold and fast became a tourist pub. The locals all moved en-masse to another pub and the place, although still looking marvelous has the worst atmosphere imaginable. I do not want my drinking pleasure disturbed by women in suits rushing in and asking who's Mercedes* is parked in her way.

*It wasn't mine, I'd left mine at home that day