Life and Artfeld McNalty - Part One
Created | Updated Jan 5, 2004
Name : Artfeld McNalty (Art)
Age : 31
Occupation : Freelance Door-stop maker and repairer
Time Frame : about 10 O'Clock this morning
Art, as he is known to his friends, is a Freelance Door-stop maker and repairer (an FDMR as he likes to proffesionally call him self). He is the only FDMR in Grandvilla Road, in fact he is probably the only one in the whole world. However the fact that there is little demand for a Freelance door stop maker and repairer, makes his monopoly a bit meaningless, which is what's depressing Art at this moment.
He hasn't actually done any work for over eighteen months, which isn't actually the thing thats depressing him. The thing that is depressing him is the fact that not working for eighteen months, has earnt him very little money. The only money he has managed to get is from doing odd jobs for people.
He is currently sharing a flat with his best mate Ted Baxter. His old girlfriend used to also share it with him until 18 hours ago, when she got sick of him being being depressed. This has not really helped his depression.
Art moved in to the flat about 14 years ago, when he left college after one year, when his mate Ted thought it would be a great idea to do it. It wasn't.
To cut a long story short, Art is having a fairly miserable Life at the moment. And to make matters worse, while he is having his breakfast, Ted is having the usual moan he's had for the last few years, about how fat his girl friend has got. The fact that Ted isn't exactly skinny, is irrelevant to Ted. Of course any discussion involving a girlfriend at the moment, is not pleasant. Art has hit boiling point.
"I don't care how fat she is! What about you, you stupid git!", immediately Art felt this had probably been the wrong thing to say.
"What about me?", Ted feebly retorted.
"Your not exactly skinny!", said Art, as Ted gave him the 'I'm not fat look' with out actually saying anything. "I know Lisa was once the slimest, slvet woman in the world. And now you want to trade her in now shes got a flat tire?", there was stunned silence. "I'm going to have a shower", he said miserably. Leaving Ted to take it all in.
As Art was having his shower, he began to feel guilty for what he had said to Ted. Art wasn't fat but, he wasn't exactly in the shape to give tips on weight either. He decided he was going to appologise to Ted, if he was going to be depressed he decided he was going to need someone to tell about it.
"Blaugh", Said a muffled voice out side the door.
"What do you want Ted?", said Art.
"Blaugh", continued the muffled voice.
"I'm sorry Ted. I didn't mean it."
"Blaugh". There was a bang on the door this time.
Art decided to see what Ted wanted. He put on a pair of Boxers and his dressing gown, and opened the door.
"Look Ted....", Said Art.
"Blaugh!", said the seven foot tall creature which greeted him by way of knocking him down, barging in and picking up his toothbrush. Art was stunned. Brain complete blank. Nope nothing. Actually his brain had been doing a number of things which Art hadn't noticed. Keeping his body working was probably a number one priority, also his subconscious had been going, "I don't want to be here, please let me out". It was actually ten seconds before anything resembling a thought actually entered his brain. The first was "Why am I on the floor?", and once that had been figured out the next thought was, "What knocked me to the floor?".
The thing that actually knocked him to the floor, was a seven foot tall creature with a vaguely humaniod look, with broad sholders and a grey robe, though his head looked like something he had never seen before. It was like having a cylinder with a half sphere stuck on top, and with a mouth that looked like it belonged in the Muppet Show. Its eyes were sunk in to the face, where eyes normally are (well if it was human that is), with only white for the eyes but with no pupils. The skin (if thats what you could call it), was strangely enough pink (very pink), which was shiney, but definately looked skin like.
The creature looked down at him (now with Ted's toothbrush pointed to his face), and said "Blaugh". This increasingly, it seemed to Art, was a very bizzare thing to say. Of course what Art didn't realise was that the creature was saying alot of other things as well, but given Art's (and other human beings) limited hearing abilities, most things came out as "Blaugh". The creature then pointed out of the open bathroom door, which Art had pretty much forgotten about until now. Art stood up and looked out of the door, and immediatetly wished he hadn't. Out of the door, instead of the flat he expected to see, there was darkness, but with lots of blue lights in the distance, and one blue light quite close (well it seemed much brighter than the others anyway, so he assumed it was closer). Art swore alot.
He walked out the door on to a black surface, and looked at the bathroom. The Bathroom was not actually attatched to anything, and definately (which was the strange bit) was not connected to a certain flat he lived in on Grandvilla Road.
"Help", yelped Art feebly. Art let the creature grab him by the scruff of the neck (also saying "Blaugh" in the process), and dragged him off.
This did not help Art's depression.
Artfeld McNalty will return shortly....