what to do if you are crapped on by a bird.
Created | Updated Jan 21, 2003
It happens to us all at some time or another. Here is what to do if you get got by the white stuff.
1. Firstly, stay calm (don't panic). Flapping and flailing your arms will only cause the bird poo to dribble and splatter, further covering you and your companions.
2. If no one saw it happen, pretend it isnt there. Chances are that no one will comment for fear of looking stupid when you tell them it is a fashion acsessory. All the top models are sporting a sticky white patch, sweetie!
3. If people do notice then wipe it off. Do not use your hand, do not use a passer-by's hair. Use a hankerchief or a leaf. do not put the hankerchief/leaf back in your pocket.
4. Act cool. Tell people it is good luck to get crapped on by a bird. Make them jealous.
5. Go home and wash your clothes.
1. Firstly, stay calm (don't panic). Flapping and flailing your arms will only cause the bird poo to dribble and splatter, further covering you and your companions.
2. If no one saw it happen, pretend it isnt there. Chances are that no one will comment for fear of looking stupid when you tell them it is a fashion acsessory. All the top models are sporting a sticky white patch, sweetie!
3. If people do notice then wipe it off. Do not use your hand, do not use a passer-by's hair. Use a hankerchief or a leaf. do not put the hankerchief/leaf back in your pocket.
4. Act cool. Tell people it is good luck to get crapped on by a bird. Make them jealous.
5. Go home and wash your clothes.
