Talking Cheese
Created | Updated Mar 3, 2007
Talking Cheese is a newly discovered life form there are different types, different varieties and different synonyms for varieties used to describe them. Here are descriptions for most of them.
The cheeses
Evil Edam (Evilus Evilerus)
This cheese has extremely sharp teeth used for ripping apart other cheese. Its is coated in red waxy shell which can only be penetrated with the sharpest of cheese knifes. It is cannibalistic and will be extremely unpleasant to anything in its path. The best way of dealing with a rouge Edam is whack it therefore damaging its red shell
Scary String Cheese (disguisus stringus)
Being a particularly weak cheese, this cheeses can disguise itself as any other cheese to scare predators. The best way to stop a string cheese is whack it since his disguise will disappear.
Blabbering Brie
This cheese as you may have guessed will constantly talk it even talks while it sleeps even when its dead it talks. Brie usually talks about pointless topics like how the amount of letters in the word gramophone. There are two ways to stop Brie, eat it or whack it.
Grumpy Goat Log
A goat log is always very grumpy it rolls along moaning about life being eaten not being eaten, being whacked and not being whacked. The way to stop a goat log is slice it then eat it or if you can’t stand the taste1 leave it alone.
Crazy Cream Cheese
A Cheese that spends most it time in it protective tub hiding and will do anything not to be eaten even jumping of a cliff. DO NOT HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH IT OR YOU WILL GO INSANE. This cheese is more harmful than Edam according to me. But it tastes delicious if you manage to eat it.
The Ravenous Rotting Cheese of Traal … wait …
The Ravenous Rotting Cheese of the abandoned cupboard
The Rotting cheese has a very sad life for two reasons
1. It lives in an abandoned cupboard
2. Everyone’s scared of it when it isn’t ravenous at all and just wants to be your friend
NEVER EAT ROTTING CHEESE. The best way to make a rotting cheese happy is give it a hug.2
Pongy Parmizan
This cheese has a pongy smell sometimes worse than rotting cheese. In one case a man buried his so the smell would go away. The one way to stop parmizans stench is to serve it melted in spagetti.
That covers most of the many species of talking cheese that exist. There will be more on these different varieties to hear about. So until then bye.
