Edith Aaronspawn:

Time and space.

Time and space.

We leave in a world of time and space.

Do I have time to get where I am going and will there be a space to park in when I get there?

The car, the auto, the motor vehicle.

The reason we go to work and the way we get to the shops,

the metal and plastic bane of our existence and the thing we spend less time researching before we buy it than we do our footware.

A box on wheels.

With a glorified squirrel in a cage under the bonnet.

Demon spawn.

A gift from the Gods...

(Not likely, with the interest rate I'm paying!)

I am afraid that I have become so tired of driving something that looks like everyone else's melted soapbar of a European sculptor's wet dream that I have added a few things.

My garageman has protested, but I pay him too well for it to persist beyond the initial shock stages.

He knows which side of his you-know-what is buttered by you-know-who, and I wish they'd both stop it, because my relaxation tapes are no longer having the desired affect!

I have decided that I should have my vehicle painted in a distinctive manner, like a mood ring.

Thus, every other idiot on the road can see what kind of mood I am in and deal with me accordingly.

I am trying to ignore my sister's contention that one of the hues on the mood spectrum suggests that I am randy...

I also think I will have a forklift installed unobtrusively into the front, to assist with parking and traffic jams.

I will have a video camera, such as the Police use, installed fore and aft and on each side.

This will allow me to ameliorate any legal contentions that my driving is erratic.

When they see what the other four-wheeled Pachinko balls are doing in relation to my activities, then they will forgive me and possibly give me a driver of the year award.

I also want an outside device that will pick up the dominant harmonic frequency of any music emanating bombastically from any vehicles near me and reintroduce that frequency as pink noise!

I think that I need a computer program, combined with the GPS, that will tell me the optimum route around the dominant lemming trails.

I always leave early for any trip, so that I can avoid most of the lemmings who have to always shave their trip time to the last minute, so that they are always in a hurry.

But, try as I might, because of the stupidity of managers who design start and end times for factories and businesses, there is always a pocket, a clique, a crowd of single occupant vehicles...

all going to the same place.

Why can't the businesses and factories just send out buses and get everyone at once?

I'll tell you why. Because the employees see their automobiles as status symbols.

Pleh!

If they were unique, maybe. But if you are driving a box indentical to fifty thousand others, and three of the same color are in your company's car park...then,

what does it all mean?

And that is the question I leave you with... what does it all mean?