Since new and interesting weaponry keeps on cropping up in the Armoury threads at the h2g2 Space Cantina, we thought it would be a good idea to add some way of keeping track of them. Most of the really zany and cool weapons are here, not the standard chain cannons/laser guns/vortex bombs, because everybody knows what they do¹.

N.B. The prices are subject to fluctuations in availability of parts exchange rates, and so are not listed here.

Generic Weapons

These are generic only in the sense that they're not geared to any particular h2g2 conflict - they're just weapons. Each has the URL of the posting in which it was first mentioned.

Groslov Fully Automatic Morning Star Hurler

This is a very large device which normally is found attached to vehicles, although one of our customers, a Grotian Frata-Loh bodyguard, used to have one as his side arm². The slogan on the side reads, "Decapitates in one shot - your money back if not completely decapitated," but unfortunately you need to hit someone to decapitate them, and accuracy is not one of this weapon's strong points.

The weapon comes complete with 1,000 rounds of ammo (while stocks last).

First used: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/FFM45513?thread=132995&skip=0&show=20#p1338987

The Clipboard's Revenge ATMOS

This is an attack robot. A rather aggressive-looking attack robot. It's advertisement describes it quite well: "It looks like an enormous metal pill bug, minus the antennae. Its steel colored armor segments and glowing red eyes seem to hint at the presence of heavy firepower underneath all of those segment plates." Built by our newest techy, Clipboard, this ridiculously overspecified self-contained arsenal was first deployed in the Cats vs Dogs war, but we feel that it could easily be deployed in other circumstances.

Warning: the current version of the autonomous decision engine can cause the robot to occasionally decide to change side for no apparent reason. However, we are sure that this minor bug will be resolved in the near future with the release of Service Pack 4.

First used: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F73233?thread=150709&skip=0&show=20

The Cats vs Dogs War

These weapons were developed during the war between the cats and the dogs, when the armoury staff (for historical reasons) were on the side of the cats.

The Steakaliser

Also known as the "Butcher's Special", the steakaliser consists of a large fan, and a steak. The fan blows a stream of air over the steak, hopefully wafting the tantalizing and distracting odour of meat towards the enemy pack. Although it is really a psychological and not a physical weapon, it has been known for a hapless dog to jump for the steak and get mashed by the fan.

Ammunition not included, although rump steak or silverside is recommended.

First used: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/FFM26840?thread=142976&skip=20&show=20#p1341649

The Bone Bomb (Mk 1)

Should you find yourself faced with a huge, out-of-control, mechanized mongrel, this is the weapon for you. Guaranteed to produce disorientation and confusion due to chronic laughter, this has only one major drawback; the loud "tick-tock" emitted by the timer mechanism.

First used: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/FFM26840?thread=142976&skip=60&show=20#p1348535

The De-Furring Gun

This is just the way to turn a doggy assault into a rout. Essentially a water pistol modified to spray fast-acting hair removal cream, this will disable the most rabid of hounds in a most embarrassing way. Unfortunately friendly fire must be avoided - the exfoliating chemical works just as well on cats as on dogs.

First used: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/FFM45513?thread=132995&skip=20&show=20#p1355263

The Flea Grenade

Is there a bunch of dogs in your way? Then send them howling for cover with a Flea Grenade! Upon detonation, it throws hundreds carefully bread killer fleas over a large area.

First used http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/FFM45513?thread=132995&skip=20&show=20#p1355263