The art of teaching a cat to fetch
Created | Updated Jun 6, 2003
<P>It is a long-thought misconception that <A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/A348824">dogs</A> hold the monopoly on the simple game of Fetch, and that to try the same game with a <A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/A53452">cat</A> or kitten would result in that "look" that every cat owner fears - one of astonished apathy.
<P>Interestingly, cats appear to enjoy fetch as much as the next mutt, and here follows simple instructions to encourage your cat or kitten to partake.
<OL>
<P><LI>The number one rule in teaching a cat anything is, don't try to teach it. This will <I>always</I> result in disappointment. Try to <I>encourage</I> your cat. Play on your cat's natural playfulness and encourage it with fuss and treats and soft expressions of "Good widdul kittypuff!"
<P><LI>Number two: don't go to any expense. Invariably, your cat will be so much more interested in a passing leaf than the Super-Sparkled Jingle-Studded Fetch Ball you spent 25 minutes choosing at the pet shop. For the sake of Feline Fetch, a scrunched-up ball of white envelope, wrapping paper or newspaper will suffice<SUP><A NAME="back1" HREF="#ref1">1</A></SUP>.
<P><LI>Get the cat interested in the paper. Choose a moment when it seems to have nothing better to do than stare at a shoe or clean their undercarriage on your favourite cushion. Rustle the paper, whip it around in circles. Get your cat's attention, then...
<P><LI>Throw the paper! This part is self-working and entertaining for both parties; just sit back and grin at your cat's inability to grip kitchen floor tiles.
<P><LI>If your cat is interested, it will proceed to bat the ball of paper around playfully. If it's not interested, it'll probably go back to perfecting its shoe-staring technique.
</OL>
<P>You have hopefully achieved the most crucial step in the whole construct of Feline Fetch - getting the animal interested. After this, it's downhill all the way.
<OL START="6">
<P><LI>Let the cat have its way with the ball for a while, then retrieve it and encourage the cat to follow you back to your original position by rustling the paper, making squeaky noises and saying "C'mere pudpudpudpudpud!"
<P><LI>Once the cat has returned, fuss it, tickle it kindly behind the ears, then repeat from Step 3.
</OL>
<P>It may take some time, but after a while - probably when you <I>stop trying</I> - the cat will gleefully return to you with the ball of paper in its mouth and stare at you expectantly. You may find it takes a few days of short practice sessions for both of you to perfect the technique but, once achieved, never again will you be able to throw-away a cheap envelope in the company of friends.
<P><HR>
<A NAME="ref1"><P></A><OL>
<P><A HREF="#back1"><LI></A>After much experimentation, your Researcher notes the cat will be happy with any size of scrunched-up ball, so long as it isn't bigger than the cat, and not shaped like a bulldog.
</OL>
<P>Interestingly, cats appear to enjoy fetch as much as the next mutt, and here follows simple instructions to encourage your cat or kitten to partake.
<OL>
<P><LI>The number one rule in teaching a cat anything is, don't try to teach it. This will <I>always</I> result in disappointment. Try to <I>encourage</I> your cat. Play on your cat's natural playfulness and encourage it with fuss and treats and soft expressions of "Good widdul kittypuff!"
<P><LI>Number two: don't go to any expense. Invariably, your cat will be so much more interested in a passing leaf than the Super-Sparkled Jingle-Studded Fetch Ball you spent 25 minutes choosing at the pet shop. For the sake of Feline Fetch, a scrunched-up ball of white envelope, wrapping paper or newspaper will suffice<SUP><A NAME="back1" HREF="#ref1">1</A></SUP>.
<P><LI>Get the cat interested in the paper. Choose a moment when it seems to have nothing better to do than stare at a shoe or clean their undercarriage on your favourite cushion. Rustle the paper, whip it around in circles. Get your cat's attention, then...
<P><LI>Throw the paper! This part is self-working and entertaining for both parties; just sit back and grin at your cat's inability to grip kitchen floor tiles.
<P><LI>If your cat is interested, it will proceed to bat the ball of paper around playfully. If it's not interested, it'll probably go back to perfecting its shoe-staring technique.
</OL>
<P>You have hopefully achieved the most crucial step in the whole construct of Feline Fetch - getting the animal interested. After this, it's downhill all the way.
<OL START="6">
<P><LI>Let the cat have its way with the ball for a while, then retrieve it and encourage the cat to follow you back to your original position by rustling the paper, making squeaky noises and saying "C'mere pudpudpudpudpud!"
<P><LI>Once the cat has returned, fuss it, tickle it kindly behind the ears, then repeat from Step 3.
</OL>
<P>It may take some time, but after a while - probably when you <I>stop trying</I> - the cat will gleefully return to you with the ball of paper in its mouth and stare at you expectantly. You may find it takes a few days of short practice sessions for both of you to perfect the technique but, once achieved, never again will you be able to throw-away a cheap envelope in the company of friends.
<P><HR>
<A NAME="ref1"><P></A><OL>
<P><A HREF="#back1"><LI></A>After much experimentation, your Researcher notes the cat will be happy with any size of scrunched-up ball, so long as it isn't bigger than the cat, and not shaped like a bulldog.
</OL>
