Having done some 22 years of in depth research I would like to share some of my observations. This is the guide to good sex, and these are the steps to take for both women and men, written here for men:



Love yourself. Be in sync with yourself. Get to know yourself. Have sex with yourself. Respect your own sexuality. Be ONE with yourself. Get to know your sexuality, what turns you on, what gives you pleasure. Get to know each phase of sexual activity, try to learn how it feels, try to make it last as long as possible, be consciously aware of the experience and memorise every detail.



Love your partner. Really love her, try to know her, what's important to her in her life, long to be with her, love her to the point when she is beginning to be a part of you. Imagine being with her, imagine how it is to gently stroke her head, how it feels for her.



Establish a mutual basis where she's important to you and where stability is guaranteed. Provide a stable basis for a partnership. Care for her. Help her to further develop her personality, her positive feelings for herself, her love and respect for herself.



Feel safe and secure and generate that feeling for her too. Do not urge her or criticise, be patient and full of love.



Try to get to know her completely. With your mind, hands and mouth - everything. Her thinking, her feelings, what she likes, her mouth (do it very wet!), her muscles, her skin, her ears, her butt (completely!) and her pussy (v e r y slowly and have fun!).



Have sex slowly, taking your time to create a sex feedback loop: You do something, maybe touch her gently, feel your hand, feel her soft skin, feel how she feels, tell her what you feel, that you know what she feels, that you know that she knows, a loop of mutual feelings and knowledge thereof.



Learn one or both of these positions for sleeping with your partner, they really are good:



The first, and easier one of the two is to face the same direction, the woman in front of him, on one hand and two knees, the man behind her on two knees and maybe one hand. The woman rubs her cl*t with the other hand, the man gently massages her back and butt. It is better, but a little difficult for the man, to have her feet between his and not the other way round, which is, probably, more common. And when the count of her orgasms has reached 20 you know you're on the right track!



The second takes some practice, but is the best: It is like the missionary position, but the woman rubs her cl*t too. The man should provide some space for that, that is, pull his stomach up (saves you going to the gym, by the way).



HAVE FUN!