What to Do With Complimentary AOL CD-ROMs

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Owners of computers everywhere know of them. It is quite likely that somewhere, somehow, every person came into the possession of, at least, one of these little objects. They are, of course, the AOL software disks! These blasted CD-ROMs are everywhere. Well, anyone with any sense knows that actually signing up for this program (100 free hours!) is not the brightest thing in the world. What does one do?

Not Usually an Instinct

Collect these disks. It has been discovered that the entertainment value of one of these not-so-rare gems is quite high. Get more! Hoard them like a hyper-active squirrel! Run rampant in your search for more and more disks! One good obsession is worth five bad habits, after all.

Okay, I Have a Bunch, Now What?


SUCKER! Just kidding. There are numerous things a person can do with them.

Practical

  1. Coasters: Several can be used, plain or painted in vibrant colors, as a set of matching drink coasters. Get one of those recordable CD towers (the kind that look like an upside down satellite dish with a plastic pole sticking up out of the middle) or something similar to hold the new coasters.
  2. Drop Spindle: If an individual is keen on using a drop spindle to make their own yarn, one of these CDs or several stacked together (for added strength) attached to a wooden dowel is very handy for a modern looking spindle. Several people use spindels made this way and they work great.
  3. Balloon Saver: Tie one of these CDs to the string of a balloon to keep the balloon from flying away. More balloons will probably mean more CDs.
  4. Gardening: Tie a CD into a berry tree or other such plant. The CD will spin in the breeze and reflect the light from the sun. The movement and lights will scare off birds that could potentially eat your hard-grown berries and fruits.

Aesthetic

  1. Wall Art: Glue several CD’s with the unprinted (or printed) side out onto a piece of stiff cardboard or poster board (or even masonite or wood to get real fancy). This can create an interesting piece of modern / pop art to hang on a wall or give as a gift to an eccentric friend.
  2. Mobile: Seen in music stores everywhere, why not have one in your very own home? Using several long pieces of wood, wire or plastic, some string and, of course, some CDs create a dazzling hanging masterpiece. Hang it near a window to catch the light and reflect dazzling patterns on the computer room walls.

Fun

  1. Flying Disks: It's flat and round, throw it as one would a frisbee. It’s one of the simplest of simple games. Try different contests with friends, go for distance. It is not suggested that an individual try to ever actually catch one of these. Injury may result. Keep in mind the playing area. One of these things could seriously hurt someone if he or she is hit with it. Also, keep in mind where the thrown disks are going to land. If there is a limited number: throw them in a field or something similar. Concrete or asphalt will probably demolish the disk on the first throw.
  2. Wheels: Not only can one spin them through the air, but one can roll them on the ground. This might be a good idea for younger users as there is significantly less chance of someone’s jugular getting sliced open by a flying CD-ROM of death.
  3. Table-Top Ring-Toss: Rig up a pencil standing more or less straight up and try and toss the CD over a short distance to get the hole over the pencil. Use a short distance and a pencil cause otherwise this game is next to impossible.
  4. Skeet: Once a friend is fairly good at throwing these things, get a shotgun and go skeet shooting with them. Please remember firearm safety! Also, unlike clay pigeons, shooting CDs with a shotgun will leave thousands of tiny shards of plastic everywhere. It should been noted that CDs are remarkably hard to see when flying through the air. This makes this a very challenging game. If a person wants to simply accomplish the joy of blowing away CDs, they should probably just rig some up as targets down a (safe) range and blow them to bits that way.
  5. Handouts: Paint over one side of the CD-ROM (or relabel it) to make it appear as something else (plain white is fine). Write something on the white paint that is vague somehow. “Operation: Imperative Unity” or something like that will do fine. The next time someone comes to the door trying to sell something, or collect money for charity, or recruit hapless victims into their religion, simply hand them the CD-ROM (in a spare case if one can be found) and whisper conspiratorially to them. Something like “I know why you’re here … you didn’t get this from me.” Shut the door (after looking about once or twice) and refuse to answer if they knock again.
  6. Microwave: Place a CD in the microwave. If it is an old microwave, an extra microwave, or a friend's microwave then that is even better. Zap that bad-boy for a couple seconds. It is important to keep a finger on the stop button. Once the CD stops its dramatic sparking immediately stop the microwave. A foul smell or permanent damage could result otherwise. The result (besides cool sparks) is a CD now covered with an impressive looking "fractal" pattern (see asthetic entries above)

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