Greebo's Jokes
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
ROLL UP!!! ROLL UP!!... GET A JOKE A DAY FROM GREEBO HERE...
All that you have to do... is send an email to the Greebo Jokes Office... you will get a confirmation E-Mail back... ~grin~... just a little check to make sure the person who sent the request is the same person that actually owns the E-Mail address... ~bigger grin~ ... Then when me has received back the confirmation request E-Mail... you will be put on my joke mailing list... Now... what couldn't be simpler????
Please do not worry, my list is not sold on to anyone else... it's MINE.. ALL MINE... and me guards the addresses as diligently as me would guard a stack of doughnuts... ~grin~... but of course there is less of a likely hood that there will be a few less in the morning...
To join Greebo's jokes... just send an e-mail to the following address...
Greebo's Jokes can at time be slightly risque, so if you are easily offended then please do not apply... Thankyou for your time... ~grin~
A FEW JOKES TO GET YOU WANTING MORE
One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local
chemical plant. Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went
out to fire departments from miles around. After fighting the fire for over an hour, the chemical company president approached the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give $50,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!"
As soon as the chief heard this, he ordered the firemen to strengthen
their attack on the blaze. After two more hours of attacking the fire, the president of the company offered $100,000 to the engine company that could bring out the company's secret files.
From the distance a long siren was heard and another fire truck came into sight. It was a local volunteer fire company composed entirely of men over 65. To everyone's amazement the little fire engine raced through the chemical plant gates and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. In the distance the other firemen watched as the old timers hopped off of their rig and began to fight the fire with an effort that they had never seen before.
After an hour of intense fighting the volunteer company had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. Joyous the
chemical company president announced that he would double the reward
to $200,000 and walked over to personally thank each of the volunteers.
After thanking each of the old men individually the president asked
the group what they intended to do with the reward money. The fire
truck driver looked him right in the eye and said, "The first thing
we're going to do is fix the damn brakes on that truck!"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good
meal and a bottle of wine they were exhausted and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there
are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, I deduce
that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that the Lord is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot, Some
bastard has stolen our tent."
Two male flies are buzzing around, cruising for good looking females. One spots a real cutie sitting on a pile of cow manure and dives down toward her. "Pardon me" he asks, turning on his best charm, "...but is this stool taken?"
Greebo finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray...
"God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some
money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
Greebo prays again...
"God please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and
I'm going to lose my car as well".
Lotto night comes and Greebo still has no luck.
Once again, she prays...
"My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house,
and my car. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Greebo is confronted by the voice of God Himself:
"Greebo, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket."
