h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What more could you want than a hairy, happy small horse that will give you his heart and soul. They are the ultimate 4x4, safe and trustworthy. They cost little to feed - low maintenance, high mileage. They are ultimately comfortable due to their ability to tolt - a gait lost to the modern breeds. (Palfreys were the last British horse known to tolt).

The main way of communicating with this horse is to talk to it and it will talk back to you, if you care to listen.

These horses will give you their last ounce of energy and if you give them yours, you will have a friend for life who will care for all you care for and look after you forever.

They sound like no horses I've ever encountered.

The types with which I am familiar have:
broken my wife's toe when she was young, and
badly bitten my friend's young niece on the upper arm, and
thrown my daughter over its head, ripping her lower lip from her jaw.

Give me a bike any time.
It stays where you leave it, and
doesn't complain if you leave it locked up for a couple of days, and
doesn't expect you to remove its saddle after use, and
(so far as I'm concerned, most importantly)
if I fall off, it won't come back and stamp on me.

Admittedly it provides nothing to put on the rhubarb, but then I prefer custard anyway.

Please come and try my horses - I promise you (money back guarantee) that they do not bite, dump or behave badly to their riders. They are happy, responsible little horses that enjoy looking after their riders (whether they are passengers or not).

Icelandic horses have been bred since 900AD to behave. In Iceland they do not have time for horses that put their family or their lives in jeopardy - they have eaten all the bastards. An Icelander will also not pass a problem horse on to someone else - if he cannot solve the problem, the horse goes in the pot.

As they say in Iceland " if he isn't a winner, have him for dinner".

I rest my case, milord.

As I said:
Like nothing I have encountered.
My daughter still loves horses, but I doubt she could eat a whole one. For a long time she would not countenance the French because of their reputation for eating nags, and was reluctant to accept that horsemeat was ever on the menu in the UK. But then she's a veggie!

Please present my compliments to your equine friends and congratulate them on their choice of human companion and spokesperson.

Thank you.

Just been shopping and bought 3 more of the little sausages.

Come and visit and try them out for yourselves. Only a small hop to Shetland.