h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Where do I start? Went for a few drinks tonight with Caprice. Oh man....I actually enjoyed her company. The difference between us is that she lives in the present and I LIVE IN FANTASY LAND....My hand itches, it has all night, I guess it's going to rain. Oh yeah, my hand that's another story. How long has it been.....11 years, I was drinking shots of tequilla with friend of mine from college, Will. (who later was having sex with Caprice) We decided, after 15 or so shots, that it was a good idea to take a blood oath. ha ha ha. He worked at a knife shop, pulled out the sharpest knife known to man. I had just broken up with Caprice. She was screwing around with some military guy. I just tried to cut my hand off. Damn near suceeded...After the surgery they did manage to connect the nerves back together, but the whole side of my hand is still numb. I had like 50 something stitches, I hit an artery, they wondered why I was alive.... Me too..Conditioning, I was a hell of an athlete back then. 4 months of physical therapy. I guess I didn't mention that I tried to kill her too... Yeah, went to her house with a knife. I was going to kill her and then drive to the fort and Kill the guy she was sleeping with. I got to her house, called her outside and stabbed a big knife into her picnic table...I told her never to talk to me again, just, please leave me alone..It wasn't the other guy as much as that she would just keep calling me. Trying to get back together... but she couldn't stop screwing around... even told me that we could date but she would still be with this other guy. That's enough to push you straight over the edge. She told me I needed help and I believed her. I found the knife in Will's car that night that I cut my hand.
She's so pretty....Hasn't changed a bit...I just want to ask her if we can try it again. What is my deal? It's almost laughable. I won't see her for a while, I'll get over this crap. I think?