h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Perhaps there will.
That doesn't mean that you shouldn't listen to me.
It doesn't mean that you should make me feel like an idiot.
It doesn't mean you should demean me.
It doesn't mean I should kill myself because you have made me feel so small and useless.

I am an extremely intelligent and clever human being.
I am a sensitive human being and I have feelings.

Hurt me again and you will remain living in a deleterious and gruesome world.


(She actually said it some time ago now)

What does she know ?
She is an empty show.
We paid our money at the door,
In minutes left by the score.
We'd all seen this one before.
Before our heads' ached ,we said no!
What does she know?

She knows more than you think!
Did on the score she spill a drink?
No, she didn't, that I know
The minutes? She didn't see 'em....



Hello lofty, how are you tonight?

Hi Wheelholder, im fine thanks , are you ok? Hope so .
Hey i like it, all we need is a chorus

The other one I dreamt up earlier was better

Mrs Pickle found the park
John the baptist and Joan of Arc
They ran along the 'crooked mile'
Then discovered they were by the Nile.

They wafted her with fans of gold
She stood there laughing, 'cos she'd been so bold
He said: "You're funny! I like you Mrs Pickle."
(That's when she began to feel less lickle).

I thought it was worth a Grade C, but when I recited it to my mother she thoucht it worth a Grade B. I'm going to compose a little tune for it and see what my piano teacher thinks.

You compose that tune yet wheelholder?

I played a different one today but it wasn't that one.
Still got the others to write out.

Although as it happens I have recorded a very nice one called 'skylark' which sounds nothing like Vogon's poem.
Apart from that I have been out taking pictures/film all part of the same project being SEVERELY hampered by inept papery bunglings.

I hope your papers stop bumbling( is it windy round your way today then ?)Aha , a project. Your wheel is spinning at the moment by the sound of it. Good luck with all, let me know if i can be of any help to you.
When has a puppy not a tick?
When it has flee(flea),( not three , but free hopefully).

He has no fleas and I stamped on the tick. Luckily the other one was still attached. I found the papers I needed to, but, of course, there is yet another further delay. This just goes on for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.....

Three forward and one step back (my words)

Stepping back to appraise the situation:

Q. Why did you refuse to listen to your brother?

A. Because he said he would never forgive his mother.

Q. Did he forgive his mother?

A. Yes, he did, eventually.

Q. Are you listening to your brother now?

A. Of course.

Q. Who caused the problem in the first place?

Q. What caused the problem in the first place?

She must have done something really bad....

Mother's often make mistakes, that doesn't make them 'bad', it makes them humans. Fathers also make mistakes. It is when they will not listen or afraid to admit 'their' mistakes that the trouble starts. My brother has an incredibly selective memory, for instance.

From a psychological perspective
What is your memory like, Chiki?

Objectively, my brother has a tendency to upset the status quo within the family and then selectively forgets it. I am sure there are many brothers like him the world over.

My memory is poor in other areas. I find it difficult to memorize music and when I am stressed out I tend to forget where I have put things. I usually find them later on when I am feeling less stressed.
for the outburst about my brother.

It's understandable.

The blue carpet looks a lot nicer than the blue paint did.