h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, assuming that I am afraid of Death, is it the pain involved, or perhaps that I am afraid not so much of the pain but by the degree of it? The thought of eternity in oblivion or that those who are left behind will for eternity be oblivious to me in that I no longer exist and am therefore irrelevant, despite all the good that I did when I was on their side?

I don’t believe there can be ‘fear of the unknown. There is always some knowledge available in a scary situation to dry the mouth or encourage a grey hair or two. To say that we don’t know what happens after we die (for example) is a bit much. Lets put our cards on the table here and step outside of the ‘spiritual’. We die; we know that for a start. Sometimes it’s going to hurt; sometimes it’s not, depending on our levels of awareness at the time and perhaps a little help from chemicals. After we die there is no ‘after’ for us, only those that pay for the funeral and join in with the salmon sandwiches to send us on our way to…nowhere. I’m dead therefore I’m not! That unknown, beyond the veil rubbish is NOTHING to be afraid of, because it is nothing and you can’t fret about nowt.

This fear thing is promoted by (among others) those end of the pier medium types whom you see on posters looking all Christ like and will be appearing this week at the Dog and Duck. They make a LIVING out of the DEAD who can’t answer back because they are DEAD! ‘Is there anybody in the audience called John? Thank you! Would the other twenty seven of you put your hands down, I would like to speak to you John.’ John looks amazed and his wife Mary becomes tearful. The Medium who is probably called something like Steven Savage, speaks with an effeminate accent, is very tanned and has blonde streaks in his hair, is concerned that Mary is tearful and proclaims, ‘John, can I tell you that I can feel that there is some sadness in your life’ Mary is now weeping uncontrollably. Steven continues, ‘I’m feeling that you are surrounded by death and I’m getting the letter ‘S’’. Mary is wailing now and John is nodding his head in agreement. John says, ‘Yes we recently lost our Siamese cat called Brynner. Steven says ‘Thank you John, there’s the ‘S’ in Siamese you see. I can tell you that Brynner is fine and he is grateful for all the love that you showed him’ John says, ‘Sorry Steven, Brynner was a female’ Steven counters with, ‘Are you sure John, I’m definitely getting male here?’ John replies, ‘We had her for eighteen years and she had four litters before we had her done’. Steven says sheepishly, ‘Thanks for your time John, anyone called Sue in the audience?’ And so and so on. People like our friend Steven cultivate ‘fear of’ by giving us watertight evidence of an existence after life. In reality it’s about as watertight as grass is blue but it’s a fantastic way to make a LIVING. There is no proof and a lot of fear to be exploited and harvest.

On the other hand I could hypothesize until my dying day about whether I will come back as, who knows, Steven Savage? A Siamese cat? I might ascend to Heaven or descend to somewhere warmer. Another dimension, backwards or forwards in time. Perhaps we all live forever but just inhabit a different body when this one gives up the ghost?

IS THERE ANYTHING TO BE AFRAID OF? It’s a scary question; can somebody out there, perhaps somebody who has passed over, help me with an answer? Hang on I’m getting the number 47 and someone called Brian. Hello Brian! What’s it like over there?