h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok, I have woken up this morning feeling a mixture of emotions, most of them not too good ones.

I woke up very tired and 20 mins later than I normaly do, mainly, due to the fact I was up on my laptop playing Litari on Yahoo...making a complete a*** of myself. I was playing against 'babybuns67' (which sounds like an upcoming porn star) I assumed she would struggle with words longer than 4 letters! But no, that as it turned out was me!. She got complicated words that not only joined other words but added to others her word was parallel to...meaning she got about 97 points a word and I got an average of 7! It was quite humiliating really. At the bottom there is a chat area, I decided to stay quiet, scared she would mock me with one of her long words. 'Babybuns67' used this chat area herself, only the once to say politely "GG thanks" (which translates to good game thanks...)...not exactly my thoughts on the game but at least one of us was enjoying themself. Whats more bewildering isnt the fact this 'porn star' managed to beat me so easily but was that I actualy carried on playing and punishing myself time and time again until the clock struck 3!

I do this all the time, I cant end a day where work follows at a normal time. I have to stretch it out as much as possible. Maybe to postpone getting that little bit older, which is ridiculous as we age, whether we are sleeping or playing a silly online computer game with a 'porn star'


Ok, I have also been finding it hard to sleep, through worry about my eldest son. He has over the years given me many concerns. He was a lovely sweet little boy until he hit 15, his personality was still kind and loving but he became involved in a group of lads that used weed as a form of escape from the pressures of teen life. Mainly in my sons case, bullying. He was bullied when he was 9, so we enrolled him in kick boxing, he got to a brown belt then gave up as he hated it so much. Despite this martial art skill, my son continued to face various types of bullying throughout secondary school. My son is dyspraxic which makes him a target as although he dosnt look different, he sometimes speaks out of turn or gets over sensitive about things others would sweep under the carpet. His teachers actualy told me his brightness would hinder him in life as he wouldnt receive extra help for his dyspraxia at school as a result. My son was predicted to get all A* in his results, but through the introduction of this group of 'friends' and the comfort of discovering weed he decided to stop focusing on his school work and got all C'S instead. Which isnt a particulary bad result considering he didnt work for them, but it is sad he hasnt reached his full potential. It also meant he couldnt stay on at 6th form and take further qualifications (You need B's to stay on at his school). Instead he went to college, it was supposed to be a 2 year course but after a year he gave up, saying he hated it. He changed to an IT course but that was worse. He managed to get a job at the airport as a welcome host for seasonal work but kept ignoring his text messages to come into work on certain busy days...so the calls got fewer and fewer

He has never been good with money, he borrowed from his gran & me and even his friends. (took us a while to figure out he was doing weed and thats what he needed the money for!....he was such a convinving liar...still is)

He signed up to a temping agency (I forced him too, as he was staying in bed during the day and doing weed at night...he denied it, but we could tell). We stopped lending him money, but he had friends that would always help him out. He was given a job in accounts. It was supposed to be until christmas (this year) but due to him having a pre-booked family holiday in the middle of his assignment, which I had booked a year ago, he was replaced after his holiday in May).

In dispair, his dad (who once chucked him out as he was worried about the influence his 'bad habits' would have on his younger brother and sister) lined him up an apprentiship as an electrician, this was a massive turnaround for him, he has one day at college a week and the rest of the time he is working for a building firm.

I said the job was the turning point but actualy I wonder if it was the learning to drive that did it. Although also a condition of the job that he had to learn to drive that pushed him. He attended a weeks intensive driving course and passed first time. His gran got him a car and he loves driving now. He has just taken his pass plus to help him reduce his insurance premiums and also to make him a safe driver on motorways etc. He exceeded a lot of the points and I am so proud of him.

He passed his driving test on August 25th and he gave up weed the same day! He was 19 on 11th september and thats also the day his car arrived.

Well, this is all positive you might think, why should I have concerns about a lad who has turned his life around so well recently.

In his life, he has this young lady, she isnt a bad person, but She crys daily, they fight daily, and because they currently live in my home during the week and at her parents at weekends...its as if we are all living the turbulence of the relationship with them.

Everyone tells me, they are young, it wont last dont worry, but its been 15 months now and shows no signs of ending anytime soon. It dosnt matter if they stay together, its their life and they are old enough to make their own choices in love, but to do it so pubilicly in our home is making me angry.

I know I am going on about this too much, my dad did the same with me and my boyfriend at the same age (who I am still with). In fact my son said to me this weekend, I think you will have to get used to her, as we are going to be together a long time, like you and dad.

Its time for them to move out, but its hard for me to suggest as I do love my son dearly, and he hasnt really got the money to afford to rent a place (apprentiship pay is very bad), she works part time and neither of them manage their money well. live on take outs, pay no rent etc. I will start by requesting rent I think, and then they may decide to move out. Its not fair on the rest of the family to hear their fights.

But then am I forcing him to make a comitment to her when he isnt really ready.

I have a lot more to tell today...will do so later on...

bye for now