h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

  I bought a computer yesterday (friday). That was the first time I
had done that bought myself one so I was understandingly excited at
the prospect. It therefore came as a shock (and a nasty one at that)
when I found out that the halfwits at the computer store had forgotten
to pack a mouse! As the reader hopefully understands one can not
operate a modern computer efficiently without one. My reaction was
simple. I did what every red blooded male does in a situation
like this - found someone to blame. The unfortunate individual in this
case was my younger brother (they usually get it in the teeth don't
they?). Objectively he hadn't contributed to my dearth of small mobile
manual devices but I was fairly certain that he was responsible on
some obscure subjective level. In any case I didn't want to take any
chances. After all a man that was capable of breaking my Lego castles
at the age of 4 is capable of anything. After taking a savage beating
from my brother (he is bigger and stronger than my AND practices
martial arts! - "younger" does not always mean "smaller") I decided
that spending the weekend watching the Microsoft Logo was not a
prospect witch promised endless hours of enjoyment. So early Saturday
morning I went down to the "Bargain Computers" store and bought a
mouse that should last the weekend.
There is no point/moral/meaning in this story. Stories seldom have
a point/moral/meaning - most of the time it is an invention of the
rattled brain of some pseudointelligent literary critic trying his/her
hardest to justify his/her long and costly education. It is just my
way of saying hello to the lot of you - and to announce my elecronic
birth.

Tosser