h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A pub with no beer and the strange tale of the train with no return (fridays only).
It is no wonder that other countries look to England to get strange tales of funny, quirky happenings for here it really does happen.
1 - The pub with no beer
From charming picturesque country pub to back street boozer the pub is part of britain and it's culture. These day's you're likely to see most people drinking mass produced fizzy lager rather than real ale straight from the barrel but they're there in the pub drinking all the same. The pub I went to yesterday was different. Before you enter there are only a few signs this is different to your average pub. The pub sat on the banks of the river in rural Lincolnshire is just the place to spend a sunny sunday afternoon if you're out that way. If you'd not read the signs properly on the way in when you get to the bar you'd realise. This is a pub that doesn't sell beer - either ale or lager. It's not a temperance house either as the range of alcoholic beverage on offer is large. No this is one of very few cider houses. If you want something alcoholic in a pint or half then you'll be drinking from the fruit of the apple tree. 8 different types of cider on taps on the bar, and yet another 4 on offer from large plastic barrels behind the bar and yet more in bottles (large and small) to buy and drink or take away. If you're after wine then they do a large selction of country fruit wines. The most normal pub type thing you're likely to see are the very few optics selling spirits.
Like most country pubs it sells food and what a meal you get. High on the list are the sausages, from a local butcher according to the menu, Lincolnshire pork and scrumpy. The menu offeres choices of 1 to 6 sausages with chips on the plate. I had three and was full afterwards, these are big sausages, full of fine taste and texture.
After the food and a couple of drinks it was time to leave but not before buying bottles to take home, from the big jug style bottles of Westons Cider to the more regular bottle shaped bottles it's a big choice.
If you drink cider and like to drink real cider then this place is a must to visit.

2 - The train with no return (fridays only)
I've been meaning to tell you all about this for some time now. Near here there is a train service that runs one way only on one day a week, fridays and normally doesn't get much custom, usually train enthusiasts. Why bother? Well it turns out that it would be much more bother and cost to close the line to passengers and close the two intermediate train stations this service calls at than it is to run just one train a week.

Where is the pub? H and I will quite possibly be up that way next month. It sounds a good place to visit.

It was the Brandy Wharf cider centre, Brandy Wharf, Lincolnshire. It's between Lincoln and Scunthorpe, about 5-10 mins off the A15.

*enters details in her Palm*



*adds to Palm packing list : Palm*

The Brandy Wharf is cycling distance from my home town (Caistor).
Getting back again tends to be altogether more difficult mind you....

I can see why the return part of that journey might be more problematic

That's what stabilisers are for

And it's mostly flat in Lincolnshire.
Caer if you do get up that way then there is also a working windmill nearby - sells flour, bread and a nice and over at Kirton in Lindsey. The one time I have been taken there the windmillw asn't going round like the one Windy Miller had (then again he did fall asleep after drinking too much cider on time...)

Part of the problem is that it is uphill from the Brandy Wharf to Caistor - the latter being at the start of the Lincolnshire Wolds.
You can walk to Brigg down the canal from BW - although I can't imagine why anyone would want to do that

It's one of my favourite drinking places as well. I insist on a designated driver (poor soul). You can always surreptitiuosly picnic outside on the grass with one of the 18 cheeses the local farm shop sells, but you might get shouted at if you've picked the wrong field

Mmm, that farm shop sounds interesting
Sitting under the apple, pear, cherry or plum trees in the orchard, if the river view doesn't appeal, does sound a nice way of going about drinking there. Though people were given plasics for sitting outside with and glasses for drinking out of inside the buildings.

The farm shop is pretty much opposite Kirmington airport (Also known as Humberside International )

Adds it to the list of places to visit next time we're over that way

Hmmm, not come across that farm shop, I must tell my sister who still lives in Scunthorpe to go and explore it. She was invited to join us at Brandy Wharf the other night but gave the poor excuse that having visited Brigg Farmers Market this weekend she was too busy preparing a simple salad of smoked eel and home grown pink fir apple potatoes. Strange. But it does sound tasty. As do all those cheeses.