h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i had a moment of epiphany
on saturday just before lunchtime
on the front steps of woolworths
where i had been trying to get some crunchy nut cornflakes
but had been frustrated by a lack of ready cash
and a sales assistant who did not understand handguns
and so had not been impressed by my urgent mumbling
that this was just the last trickle of violence
before a permanent power sharing solution was enacted
thus leaving me groping for self authentication
and worried about the economic consequences
of having to work for a living
now that my guns and roses days were gone
anyway
the ephiphany
which i was going to mention to you
was this
that i don't really like crunchy nut cornflakes anyway
too many pieces stick in your dentures
and anyway they are not as crunchy as they were
back in nineteen ninety three

There's no street cred in crunchy nut cornflakes. I wonder what most unauthorised wielders of guns have for breakfast.

that's a really deep one ......

though being n irish, and thus a potential suspect in any police lineup ... i'd have to say that sales of the crunchy nut offering are high here......