h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You've got to laugh... I found this discussion thread on the POV forum that had evidently been started by somebody with to much time on their hands (a kindred spirit, in fact!) http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mbpointsofview/F1951566?thread=6136416 Message 1 - posted by Woburn19 (U13733532) , 7 Hours Ago Can you tell me where in Arthurian legend that Morgana wore stilleto heels as she did in episode 12 of this great programme. I mean.... this isn't known history, where you'd expect them to be on the ball about all the little details of costume. This is your basic hokum, your costume drama, where everyone dresses approximately correctly for the part, over-acts wildly, and has a bloody good time doing it. You don't even expect it to be correct to the source material: Malory's "Morte d'Arthur, the Mqabinogion, et c. These are the collective folk-myths everyone knows, consensus folklore, like Robin Hood, right? So I wrote back with:- Malory, Morte d'Arthur, chapter 23:- And ye wyttche Morgana LeFey dyd espy into her crystal balle for to see what was to passe in days yette to cumme. And, being a mere female and Subjeccte to the Weaknesses of Females, despite her being Wyttche, she did espy ye Shoe Shoppe of ye Future, wherein Fineries, Fripperies and Vanities of all kinds were tailored to ye Feete of Wymmen. And Morgana, trapped and englamoured by ye magicke of the Sourcerors who art yclepped Clarkes and Jimmi Choo, did cry "Fain must I have some of this unto myself!" and her Magickal Arttes were so diverted, even unto pursuit of eldrich thynnges like kitten heels and stiletto heels (but by Stilleto, I mark not ye Dagger of ye Italian Assassin, but ye Heel of Ye Shoe). And yea, she did Reconfiggure her Scrying Crystal so that it did conform to ye Broadbandde Specs, and she didde set up an Accountte with the Merchants of such Fineries, and her Camelot Excess Platinumme Cardde did groan piteously at ye Load placed upon itte. Her son Mordred did cty "Mum, when are our armies going to settle things with that barsteward Arthur?" And she waxed wroth and waved him away, saying "Idiot Boy! Hie thyself forth! Canst thou not see I am Shoppyng?" And Mordred did not ask again. And thus was danger averted from our land. ***************** Just a bit of harmless fun written in cod-mediaeval English, right? Think again... after my posting garnered appreciative replies (and I thank ye), enter ye Moddes and ye Puritannes of P.O.V., and ye humourless churls did Yikes my posting, replacing it with ************* Message 4**, 6 Hours Ago This posting has been hidden during moderation because it broke the House Rules in some way. ************************ Truly, meddle not in the ways of Moderators, for they are subtle and quick to Yikes.