h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have the good fortune to be in a job where I get to see certain much-anticipated releases from film companies before they go on public release, and yesterday teh new Episode II trailer arrived on my desk. You can all see it from Sunday I think but I have only had one reaction......

Oh dear.

Good news first - we are going to get some full-on land battles - which from brief glimpses look as involved and chaotic as anything from Braveheart or the start of Gladiator. Enormous armies which include early version stormtroopers and ships that look like mini-star destroyers.

Yoda's facial animation is more complex than Ep I, though he's just about the only Jedi we don't see swinging about his weapon in the trailer. And there are many

The background CGI looks to be an order higher than Ep I - far more going on than any scene from TPM. And some absolutely gorgeous explosions - you can almost see the fuel burning.

And young Portman looks even better in the tight white Leia suit when she's moving

Bad news. Brace yourselves, I'll try to ease you in gently.

The score for the trailer is weak - lends no atmosphere or excitement to a sequence of clips that don't seem to fit together comfortably. You'll remember how perfect the trailer for ROTJ was (if not, dig out one of the vids, they usually run all 3 before widescreen editions). Well this might as well be a trail for Neighbours for all the elegance it posesses. First time I've seen any new SW material and felt let down rather than excited.

I don't know when Lucas turned to Nintendo for inspiration but there is something seriously wrong with the colours in the film. They are ridiculously rich and just overpowering to the eye. It sounds stupid but just wait til you see it. Oranges and Reds that seem almost flourescent the chroma is cranked up so high. And the lightsabers...... You all saw the fake trailer with the Braveheart footage altered? Pink and purple lightsabers that were like neon signs? Well that's what we've got this time. Lightsabers that look totally different to the other 4 films.

The CGI effects are mostly impressive but there is one bluescreen of Portman that would shame Temple of Doom, it looks so composited. I hope their pick-up schedule includes re-working fx shots.

As for the dialogue some of it is great - it does look like we are in for quite a tasty plot but some of the "character" lines they've thrown in, especially Kenobi, fall very flat. But then again, they are out of context.

I know none of this sounds overly disastrous but my words don't do justice to the disappointment the trailer leaves you with. There are significantly good moments, and plenty to look forward to - like dozens of Jedi getting stuck in, but there are doubts beginning to creep in from this release.

You'll be pleased to hear I didn't spot Jar-Jar though. Thank God for small mercies.

Do you think the colours are the result of the all-digital production? I didn't think the older trailers looked bad - in fact, I didn't detect any difference between the picture in those and that of the Phantom Menace.

I'll be interested to see it, though.

Absolutely. I think in TPM Lucas was keen that there was no obvious difference between what the first all-digital movie would look like and what the cinema-goer was used to. But in this new trailer I really think he's cranked up those colours to say "hey! look what we can do now!". But it's just too much - the colour is just too vivid and doesn't look natural. But then who am I to say what dyes they have on Naboo, eh?

As for older trailers - despite having seen the movies an unhealthy number of times seeing Empire and Jedi trailers on videos would always leave me wanting to dig them out. When the Special Editions came out the same old scenes were recut with a few new effects and the new trailers were once again perfect - they whet the appetite and left you waiting for that release date.

With TPM and Clones so far all the trailers have too done the job and left me hungry for more. But this is the first to disappoint - for many small reasons - and I think this is the final trailer before the movie's release, which is rather worrying. But Lucas has apparently limited Jar-Jar's role after his appearance was widely booed in test screens. Maybe it's not too late to take a little feedback from the trailer's reception.

Here's to May, with fingers firmly crossed. I think it'll be on the starwars.com website today or tomorrow - GMTV will show the full 2 mins Monday morning - though I don't know what time I'm afraid.

Just seen it again, now the anticipation has abated somewhat, and perhaps I was a little harsh. No doubt - this is going to be much better than Ep I, and that's all that matters I guess.

I think I must be worrying unduly about all this. Last night I dreamt I went to a test screening of AOTC, and it was really disappointing. But I've found this happens to me with virtually every film I'm really looking forward to. It ends up being a kind of nightmare - either we turn up and it's a different film, or the seats are so far back we can't see anything, or (as in last night's) instead of being in a cinema it was some strange form of screening room and the screen was partially blocked. I do remember thinking the colours looked wrong though, so that was probably your fault

I'm still looking forward to it. Interestingly, all the trailers I've seen have been less impressive than the original TPM trailer, but I think the excitement for that one was more because we'd been waiting 20 years. This time, there's the general sense of disappointment for TPM which is tempering my enthusiasm. I hope that, because of this, I'll be blown away by it.

Oh, there's plenty of really juice stuff in there...I'm drooling.....