h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Pompous and annoying, with a blank stare,
Ready to murder because he doesn’t care.

Evil in motives, with a heart as cold as steel,
Stringing along the faithful because they think that he’s real.

Isn't afraid to propose what is wrong,
Deadly and dangerous, more so than King Kong.

Eyes full of darkness, needed for his cause,
Never backs down even when he’s false,
Tells it all crooked, and abuses the laws.

Going backwards while thinking he's right,
Ever shrouded in darkness, away from the light.

Over and over he lies and he lies,
Reacting to true allegations, he always denies.

Growing in power, he cannot be stopped,
Even though his ventures have frequently flopped.

Wanting the world piece by piece,
Bracing for war, destroying all peace,
Using his power so evil wont cease.

So join me my friends in a cause that is just,
Here stands a bad man, and stop him we must.



OK, so many of you are probably wondering what all this is about, especially considering my aversion to poetry, but after seeing this news article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/4501132.stm I just couldn't stop myself from writing this.

Did you write that poem?

No, I heavily edited the original.

Oh. I was prepared to be mildly impressed there.

I wrote a poem recently...

You like wasting your time then.

Look who's talking!

Well it wasn't really time wasting, since I'm taking a creative writing class.

Well I never understood the point of poetry, it's just stuff that rhymes, unless it doesn't rhyme.

But I'm sure that some people find enjoyment from it somehow.

A7552000

See, I haven't the foggiest idea what that was about.

Me either, and I wrote it.

Now see, poems are meant to be about something, like daffodils, or evil rings that incur the wrath of demons.

It is about something. You're supposed to read meaning into it, I guess, but it started out being about longing - The thing was, I didn't know if it was abot drugs, or lonliness, or whatever, so it went a bit vague. But there you go.

Well I got the drugs bit, that hit me right on the nose with the bit about swirling colours, but I still can't make sense of the rest of it.

It doesn't have to make sense, it's a poem.

Did you like it?

I've got another one about suicide, slightly less confusing than that one.

I neither like nor dislike it. It would be like asking me for an opinion on that shed that won some prize; I don't understand it so I don't have an opinion on its artistic merits.

Well, that's better than out-and-out repulsion, I suppose.

Well I liked the wording. In fact, I'm just after having taken part in a group presentation, and the other three doing it couldn't correctly pronounce some of the big words.

That's not good.

You should have heard Tony try to pronouce conscientiousness.

"Conscien...

Contient...

Consciousness..."


I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

Oh dear.

Was this the one you were supposed to do several weeks ago?