h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

thats the one

Getting paid for it sounds like an improvement on the cheapskate competitions you've been doing. You mention techniques for creating surrealist stuff. Did the GW tools (eg for generating random rubbish) disappear with the closure of that sub-site? There are some elsewhere online, eg for fake mission statements or wordy but essentially mindless philosophising.

I didn't check GW, I must admit. I had enough trouble squeezing what I already knew into 1000 words--I could easily had made it four times as long. So I just put in the basics: automatic writing, cut-up poetry, that kind of thing. I'm hoping to encourage lots of people to take up Surrealist writing, as there's not nearly enough of it around.

Getting paid is good!

Well, it's better than hiding behind a badger engaged in a retromingent act whilst evading a horde of vicious squirrels!

Would that be you or the badger who's engaged in the 'retromingent act'?

I'm not holding my breath on the payment front. I'll wait and see if it materialises. It's a new magazine, after all.

How marvelous..they'd better pay you

ok, I was rushed that tone sounded so wrong..

How marvelous that they like it

They'd better pay you

It's ok, Vix, I know what you're like! No explanations needed.

I think it would somewhat difficult for me to perform the 'retromingent act'.

But blokes are said to have superior aim.

Well I s'pose with some effort it can be down, but one isn't really properly designed for it what with standing upright on just the two legs.

"hiding behind a badger engaged in a retromingent act"

So did this really happen to you?

No. I did look after a badger with an injured leg for a while though, he was friendly little chap, didn't try to bite me or scratch at me...
I've never been hunted down by squirrels in packs either... Sometimes I just come out with these odd bits of randomness and on very rare occaisions they amuse folk other than myself.

Cool! Did you find it, or were you working at some kind of animal helping place?

He found me, came snuffling into the farm yard, no doubt to pinch the pony nuts.

What had he done to his leg?

I used to know a couple of badgers who liked to steal catfood at a friend's farm. I was surprised at how close we could get to them without them noticing us.

I've heard they're partial to peanut butter, though I've never tested this myself.

I'll see if my mother can remember tomorrow.