h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, the buds are coming out on the trees and the doves are cooing at each other and the female undergrads are mincing about in skimpy dresses and goose pimples. It is springtime in Wales.

Last night, something was prowling around our garden.

"MEAOWRRR," it stated. It had a deep voice; the sort of voice you don't want to mess with.

It said it again. And, emphatically, again. We could see nothing but blackness through the kitchen window. After an hour or so of this, I decided it was time to investigate properly. I opened the back door and peered into the gloom.

"Hello?" I said.

"MEAOWRRRrrr?" replied the Thing.

"Who's there?"

"MEEAAOWWWRRrr?"

"Um... have we met?"

A very small black cat trotted out of the shadows, rubbed its head against my leg, and stepped smartly into the kitchen.

"MEAOWRRR," she said to Gothly, and trotted back into the garden and disappeared. We could hear her meaowrring in the shrubbery.

Yup. It's springtime in Wales.

I suppose in Scotland the midges are coming out on the trees and the male undergrads are mincing about in skimpy dresses instead.

--Only, with more hair and fewer goose pimples. And the same goes for the undergrads.

hmmm, it may be that the cat was prospecting for new pets, and you was being surveyed.

Its nowhere near springtime here loads of snow and ice

Snow and ice! Well, that makes me feel better about living here!

You know, I happen to speak a bit of Cat, and I think what our prowler was saying was something like this:

"Single black female, n/s, no s.o.h., desperate, seeks male, preferably ginger, for fun and frolics. No time-wasters."