h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh the moral anguish caused by having long legs. I pretty much bankrupted myself in the January sales as I found a seam (as in coal seam) of Long Trousers in a local shop. Fantastic! Unfortunately I couldn't try them on in the shop, so bought as many as I could carry and tried them on at home with the intention of taking any back that didn't fit. They included a pair that had a 38" inside leg (I usually buy 34-36"), which I bought while daydreaming of having turn-ups for the first time in well over a decade. The were only £7 and only a bit too wide. The dream lasted until I was struck down with the moral dilemma that somewhere out there there was probably someone with 38" legs desparately trying to find trousers and I'd bought the only pair I'd ever come across despite the fact that they didn't exactly fit me. I had denied this poor being potential trousers. Eventually, after much soul-searching, I added the trousers to the 'take back to the shop' pile. I took them back on the grounds that I was doing good for the country's vertically enhanced populous.

That and the fact that I looked like an Oompah Lumpah when wearing them