h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

 It's been 4 hours and I've still had no comments or replies about my scrambled egg hints. I can see that in future I will have to stay clear of cookery advice and stick to something people are actually interested in.

Don't despair - it's a fine culinary tip - and I also liked the hangover cure advice (despite it being utter nonsense). More tips soon, I hope? How about one on removing red wine stains from white carpet?

Wow a reply. This thing works, I better start checking it more regularly.
Red wine from carpet? If it's recently spilled you must immediately run for the salt. Pour a massive pile of the stuff over the spillage, leave it for about half an hour and kerchhingg! -job done.

Go on ask me another.

Okay, this is a considerably more difficult one... How do you improve conventional TV reception in low-lying coastal valleys? Also, what can you drink with gin when the tonic runs out? And lastly, how much gin do you need to drink before you stop caring about the shocking TV reception?

In answer to your questions: a Skyways Master Coax point three Ariel (not Antenna).

More Gin

Depends what your watching.

YerWhat? A Skyways Master Coax point three Ariel? Is this something I can rustle up out of silver foil and coat hangers? I think I shall stick to the gin (or the gin & gin cocktails) and fuzzy eastenders.

I see your scrambled eggs entry has warranted an Approved Guide Entry status, you most-privileged one.

Has it? What does that mean? I have to confess that I'm not that clued up to this malarky yet. Bye the way - the skyways things was a little white lie, I do this at work and have limited time. I felt under pressure to produce and answer and I cracked. My other advice was sound though.