h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

 So yeah... my journal could be a novel. Update of the last two months. My ex-boyfriend decided he was gay. Two months before he dumped me. This annoyed me slightly. I had wondered why he had started screaming him best friends name during sex. Unfortunately I am not joking. So that was fun.

I got a new bloke. He is cool. However he is a year younger than me, which doesn't bother me, or in fact, most people... but my mother seems to think it's hilarious. Cue all her appalling jokes. If I get in early one night, I get "AWW. Was it past his bed time?" She then proceeds to laugh at herself for at least half an hour. Despite this she actually likes him, which is novel.

Exams. ARRGGHH.

I tidied my room. It is still vaguely tidy, two weeks after the event. I am so shocked I almost wet my pants every time I wake up to find it still tidy.

My rats escaped. I am now missing two rats. I am unsure if they are alive or dead. They were last spotted in my garage. Any help on the subject would be appreciated.

I saw Elvis. In Marks & Spencers in Leeds. Really. I don't know if it was really him though...

I would have thought Elvis shopped in Morrisons.

It would seem more likely, but unfortunately the Morrisons in Leeds does not have a lingerie department, which is where I spotted him.

It does, however, have a fantastic fish section.

They used to have a big sign saying "say Yes to fish".

I desired it deeply.