h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I swear they're all staring at me. Everyone's trying to get a glimpse over my shoulder to see what I'm doing. They are. Really!

Paranoid? Me? Nah.

I just called... to say... I looove you...

No, no, that's wrong. I just came round to say "Howdy!".

Howdy!

My mission accomplished. Your mission, should you chose to accept it, is to actually converse with/to/at me, despite the fact I may not reply for a week or two. Yes, a rather dodgy mission if I do say so myself.

In place of that one, you can hire a llama and ride it, whilst accompanied by your favourite furry animal, accross the Pacific. I shall greet you with your reward, a pretty blue ribbon with 'frist' written on it, when you hit Australia.

Go on, you can do it.

*stomps in soaking wet covered in llama fur and dragging a soggy kitty*

*glares balefully at JJJ*

Do you know how BAD llamas are at swimming??

*sneezes*

*cowers a little*

Ahh.. er...

*finds a bale to hide behind*

Uh, no, I didn't. Didn't cross my mind really. The double L at the beginning of the word just threw me off. Llama, lama, swimming, no it just doesn't really follow.

But I'll hold the kitty, if you like.

Here then. *thrusts the kitty into JJJ's arms*

Do you have a towel? And can I have a ribon anyway for my heroic attempt to actually reach you?

*sneezes*

Oh, alright.

*pulls out a blue ribbon with 'frist' printed on it*

Yeah, well it was meant to say 'first' but there seems to have been a printing error. Sorry 'bout that.

Towel... towel... don't tell me you don't know where your towel is?

*rummages around in a pile of mishapen stuff*

Ahh, here it is. I knew I had it somewhere.

*hands Krissy a towel with a big dragon on it*

I thought it suitable, no?

I choose to ride not by llama, but by camel. I just think it's more comfortable, and not as smelly. I don't have to get wet, either.

What's been happening, JJJ? How's the place of education? Are you learning anything?

Watch out for the dragon on that towel, KL. I hear they're vicious during the Autmun rut...!

*lands*

Why on earth would anyone swim to Australia when it's so much easier to forget to hit the ground?

Honestly. Even to be frist, I don't think I would dare to do anything so obviously exhausting and dangerous to my clothes.

Not that there's anything *wrong* with doing it. I thoroughly admire anyone with the pluck to pull it off.

It's just not me.

I've really never been a very strong swimmer.