h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I hope this reaches you well. I have been stranded on this page for almost 27 days. Actually 15 days. And when I say 15 days, I mean it's been six and one half minutes, but the elements are tearing me apart. I fear I haven't got much time before I surrender to starvation, so if you happen upon this first and final entry, I'll most likely be dead. Please don't take my wallet. You'll only find it devoid of currency, and besides I don't like people muddling around in there. Of course, you are welcome to my towel, as well as my supply of peanuts. I hope they serve you well. Who would have thought that it would all end like this! Perhaps I should have let the dangly bit soak in the tea a little while longer...

Surely this was the work of someone who has seen far too many episodes of Monty Python's Flying Circus. Hey, Malikas, Has anyone ever told you that the more you tell a joke, the funnier it gets? I thought so. Yours truly, B.J. Smithers (in a white wine sauce with...